There's a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen
The landscape in Spokane is almost unrecognizable. One day it was warm and sunny and 63 degrees and the next day it was stunningly freezing. Fall was in its
glory and then winter came along and BAM!
That's really how life is sometimes. It seems that all is as it should be
and then suddenly things are off kilter. Uncomfortable. Shifting and changing.
Nope, I didn't vote for that!
It gets dark very early now, It's dark when I leave for work and starting to get dark when I come home. And I find I have candles everywhere. No, everywhere. I have candles out in lanterns in the back yard, sharing shreds of light beams with the crisp frost. I have candles in almost every room. Just in case. Just in case someone needs comfort and needs to know there is Light in the darkness.
For me that light has always been Jesus.
He's the one I call out to when tears are streaming down my face. He's the one
who has been my light on the darkest pathways. He's the one who has guided me along rugged roads, when I stumbled at almost every turn.
He's the One.
Several of my very dear friends and beloved family members are going though very tough and challenging times right now. Some days it feels like the darkness is overtaking their lives and they are on a very slippery path. It feels scary and unreal and out of control. In those times of darkness, and believe me I have been there, I have called out to Jesus in pain and despair. I felt like there was no crack of truth for light to even find its way through.
But there is a crack in everything. That's how the healing light gets in.
This last weekend Bert and I got an Emergency Car Kit for our beloved Granddaughter Glory Sihin, now 17 and adopted three years ago from Ethiopia.
She has had her drivers license for only a few months and this is her first winter driving in the snow. So we purchased a AAA card and an all-weather bag that has everything from a small shovel to a flashlight and flares. Glory was amazed at all that she might need, in case she was stuck in an emergency.
After rattling off all all the snow storm and emergency protocols , I looked at her dear face and saw her smiling at me. I could read her mind and she could read mine.
"Okay," I said. "Pray first and then use the Emergency Kit."
He is there for every emergency!
And when I wonder what the next sentence or paragraph or chapter is in my life...I remember that I am not alone in the darkness. He is there. Right
with me. Holding out a hand. Bringing a candle to help light my way.
Yes, the weather has changed and I find I am missing the warmth of the sun,
the chatter of friends outdoors, and the feel of dirt underneath my fingers as I
nurture small plants. Yet I know this season will bring me a new sense of His presence. A new renewal of how much I need His guidance.
And I will pray, and pray and pray some more...for my dear soul sisters
who are struggling and choosing and growing and trusting in Him.
You know who you are and you know how much I love you!
He will not leave us. He will light the way!
Of that I am sure!
God Bless!
Love Linda
Monday, November 17, 2014
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Veterans Day...Through the Eyes of Children
How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes.
-Maya Angelou
Whenever Veterans Day nears, I have a pit in my stomach.
During that day, and for several days afterwards, I feel the
enormity of what has been sacrificed to keep me free. I feel a gratitude that is overwhelming and linked with tears. I say to my students who are veterans, to my husband and other friends who have served, "Thank you for your service." However, it rings a little hollow. That phrase is heartfelt, yet it doesn't begin to cover the cost.
My Dad was a veteran in WWII, stationed in Italy for more
than three years. He was newly married. He left a business, a wife, his country and lived in a tent. He loaded bombs into airplanes, day after day, in an effort to keep Hitler from taking over Europe and the rest of the world. On Veterans Day I always pull out the pictures of my Dad in his uniform. My younger Dad. The one who still smiled easily. There was no question that he would serve. He wanted to give the gift.
In later life he wondered aloud, and with much sadness, if perhaps some of those bombs had also hurt innocent people. That wondering hurt his heart. According to my Mom, a new bride when he left, Mark was "a changed man." How could he not be.
A life changed forever.
War is awful and horrible and hurtful and many tough
lessons have been learned in the wars we have fought. And the life of every soldier, on both sides, is changed forever.
Yet no matter where we stand politically on a war, in my view we need to love and care for those we ask to go and make the ultimate sacrifice. Vietnam Veterans often came home to cat-calls and horrible signs. Not only had they made a huge sacrifice, it seemed like so many of them were vilified at home.
Hopefully we learned a lesson from the pain they
endured. We may not agree with a war, but we will care for and love those who went to serve in it.
My beloved Bert was/is an Army paratrooper. I say "is"
because it is so a part of who he is today and the values he holds. Now, as a counselor, he often works with Veterans who are struggling, who have PTSD. Serving changed them, grew them up, brought them square in line with a side of life that stretches and pains them, and pains those they love.
And women serve and leave home and children and lives that will never be the same. They give their all to keep freedom alive. They serve with honor and love and dignity and pay the cost.
Lives changed forever.
Saying thank you doesn't seem adequate, but it's what I have to offer. Saying thank you, not just on Veterans Day, seems to be even more important.
A friend at the college where I teach sent me this video link on Tuesday. And the tears flowed. Somehow the voices of these sweet third grade elementary children captured what was and is in my heart.
Don't miss this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pfBUUZNbFM
God bless!
Love,
Linda
-Maya Angelou
Whenever Veterans Day nears, I have a pit in my stomach.
During that day, and for several days afterwards, I feel the
enormity of what has been sacrificed to keep me free. I feel a gratitude that is overwhelming and linked with tears. I say to my students who are veterans, to my husband and other friends who have served, "Thank you for your service." However, it rings a little hollow. That phrase is heartfelt, yet it doesn't begin to cover the cost.
My Dad was a veteran in WWII, stationed in Italy for more
than three years. He was newly married. He left a business, a wife, his country and lived in a tent. He loaded bombs into airplanes, day after day, in an effort to keep Hitler from taking over Europe and the rest of the world. On Veterans Day I always pull out the pictures of my Dad in his uniform. My younger Dad. The one who still smiled easily. There was no question that he would serve. He wanted to give the gift.
In later life he wondered aloud, and with much sadness, if perhaps some of those bombs had also hurt innocent people. That wondering hurt his heart. According to my Mom, a new bride when he left, Mark was "a changed man." How could he not be.
A life changed forever.
War is awful and horrible and hurtful and many tough
lessons have been learned in the wars we have fought. And the life of every soldier, on both sides, is changed forever.
Yet no matter where we stand politically on a war, in my view we need to love and care for those we ask to go and make the ultimate sacrifice. Vietnam Veterans often came home to cat-calls and horrible signs. Not only had they made a huge sacrifice, it seemed like so many of them were vilified at home.
Hopefully we learned a lesson from the pain they
endured. We may not agree with a war, but we will care for and love those who went to serve in it.
My beloved Bert was/is an Army paratrooper. I say "is"
because it is so a part of who he is today and the values he holds. Now, as a counselor, he often works with Veterans who are struggling, who have PTSD. Serving changed them, grew them up, brought them square in line with a side of life that stretches and pains them, and pains those they love.
And women serve and leave home and children and lives that will never be the same. They give their all to keep freedom alive. They serve with honor and love and dignity and pay the cost.
Lives changed forever.
Saying thank you doesn't seem adequate, but it's what I have to offer. Saying thank you, not just on Veterans Day, seems to be even more important.
A friend at the college where I teach sent me this video link on Tuesday. And the tears flowed. Somehow the voices of these sweet third grade elementary children captured what was and is in my heart.
Don't miss this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pfBUUZNbFM
God bless!
Love,
Linda
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
The Best Weekend EVER...
When he worked, he really worked.
But when he played, he really PLAYED!
-Dr. Seuss
I am all about making memories. Memories that paint pictures of an experience for my grandchildren. Memories that will last far beyond my years. Memories that start with the sentence..."You will NEVER believe what we did!"
When our Grandson Jacob was about to have his 13th birthday, my husband Bert and I set out to make a memory-filled time for the "young lad," as my Grandma used to say. We wanted to go all out, to fulfill a dream of his and in the process one of our own.
We didn't have to think long and hard. After all, Jacob is a die-hard Seattle Seahawks football fan. The kind that loved the Seahawks before they became famous. He knows all the players, all the statistics, who has been traded for whom. He knows it all and watches every game on tv with such zest and vigor and raucous yelling and jumping up and down that it makes us all laugh until we cry.
And since this Nana LOVES to put surprises together, we decided to get Jacob some Seahawks gear for his birthday. The bag was decorated with huge Seahawks balloons and there was a puzzle inside, incapsulated in different envelopes. Jacob loved the Seahawks hat and the book about the players. And then I directed him to a series of envelopes. I informed him he had a puzzle to solve. Since Jacob has always been quick to do puzzles, we knew the grand finale would be seen in short order and would be jaw-dropping.
Jacob opened the envelopes, read the clues, put the puzzle together and then in wide-eyed disbelief...looked at us. He read the puzzle again and his mouth fell open. He whispered, "I can't believe it." Jacob looked up and said in almost disbelief, "We are going to a Seahawks game, a real, in-person Seahawks game!!!"
And so we did.
We flew on an airplane to Seattle, where both Bert and I were born, stayed at an amazing hotel, went swimming, had room service, had a town car take us to the stadium, and had Seahawks rain gear ready to roll. Now please understand, this is not our usual way to travel. But since we are a tad older, and I was not about to drive to Century Link stadium with the 67,4000 other people attending the game, we opted to have someone take us.
It was such a thrill. the noise. the screaming. the touchdowns. the sad loss to Dallas. the trip to get our bags. the flight home. All of it... AMAZING.
But most of all, the talks and sharing, the glimpse into the life and heart of our dearly beloved grandson...that's what Bert and I will remember. We will never forget the look on his face when we finally got to our seats. Seats way, way, WAY up in that huge stadium. That joy-filled moment will stay with me forever.
And beyond the trip, Jacob's thank you note, delivered as we dropped him at his home Sunday night. That thank you letter that made us cry...lots and lots of tears. In it Jacob expressed with such love what we mean to him, that we had inspired him, that he dearly loves us and loved spending time with us.
It's the kind of letter that gets framed, that we'll read on days when we might be a little down. It's the kind of letter most parents and grandparents wait for their whole lives.
Yes, it was the best weekend EVER. A memory maker for sure.
We love Jacob with all our heart and were there at his birth 13 years ago. We were there when he took his first steps. We were there for his first day of school and every Christmas and birthday he has celebrated. And now, we are here as we watch him become such a fine young man. We could not be more proud of him for the excellent student, son, grandson, brother, friend, and young man of faith he is. Jacob has character and we see it in how he lives his life every day.
And while we all work hard, this weekend we played hard too.
Boppa, Nana and Jacob. We had a blast. No papers to grade, no homework to do. Just fun and lots of it. Memories made to last a life time.
It just doesn't get any better than that!
God Bless!
Love Linda
But when he played, he really PLAYED!
-Dr. Seuss
I am all about making memories. Memories that paint pictures of an experience for my grandchildren. Memories that will last far beyond my years. Memories that start with the sentence..."You will NEVER believe what we did!"
When our Grandson Jacob was about to have his 13th birthday, my husband Bert and I set out to make a memory-filled time for the "young lad," as my Grandma used to say. We wanted to go all out, to fulfill a dream of his and in the process one of our own.
We didn't have to think long and hard. After all, Jacob is a die-hard Seattle Seahawks football fan. The kind that loved the Seahawks before they became famous. He knows all the players, all the statistics, who has been traded for whom. He knows it all and watches every game on tv with such zest and vigor and raucous yelling and jumping up and down that it makes us all laugh until we cry.
And since this Nana LOVES to put surprises together, we decided to get Jacob some Seahawks gear for his birthday. The bag was decorated with huge Seahawks balloons and there was a puzzle inside, incapsulated in different envelopes. Jacob loved the Seahawks hat and the book about the players. And then I directed him to a series of envelopes. I informed him he had a puzzle to solve. Since Jacob has always been quick to do puzzles, we knew the grand finale would be seen in short order and would be jaw-dropping.
Jacob opened the envelopes, read the clues, put the puzzle together and then in wide-eyed disbelief...looked at us. He read the puzzle again and his mouth fell open. He whispered, "I can't believe it." Jacob looked up and said in almost disbelief, "We are going to a Seahawks game, a real, in-person Seahawks game!!!"
And so we did.
We flew on an airplane to Seattle, where both Bert and I were born, stayed at an amazing hotel, went swimming, had room service, had a town car take us to the stadium, and had Seahawks rain gear ready to roll. Now please understand, this is not our usual way to travel. But since we are a tad older, and I was not about to drive to Century Link stadium with the 67,4000 other people attending the game, we opted to have someone take us.
It was such a thrill. the noise. the screaming. the touchdowns. the sad loss to Dallas. the trip to get our bags. the flight home. All of it... AMAZING.
But most of all, the talks and sharing, the glimpse into the life and heart of our dearly beloved grandson...that's what Bert and I will remember. We will never forget the look on his face when we finally got to our seats. Seats way, way, WAY up in that huge stadium. That joy-filled moment will stay with me forever.
And beyond the trip, Jacob's thank you note, delivered as we dropped him at his home Sunday night. That thank you letter that made us cry...lots and lots of tears. In it Jacob expressed with such love what we mean to him, that we had inspired him, that he dearly loves us and loved spending time with us.
It's the kind of letter that gets framed, that we'll read on days when we might be a little down. It's the kind of letter most parents and grandparents wait for their whole lives.
Yes, it was the best weekend EVER. A memory maker for sure.
We love Jacob with all our heart and were there at his birth 13 years ago. We were there when he took his first steps. We were there for his first day of school and every Christmas and birthday he has celebrated. And now, we are here as we watch him become such a fine young man. We could not be more proud of him for the excellent student, son, grandson, brother, friend, and young man of faith he is. Jacob has character and we see it in how he lives his life every day.
And while we all work hard, this weekend we played hard too.
Boppa, Nana and Jacob. We had a blast. No papers to grade, no homework to do. Just fun and lots of it. Memories made to last a life time.
It just doesn't get any better than that!
God Bless!
Love Linda
Friday, October 10, 2014
Unexpected Gifts...
"Everything is a gift...
it's just that some things
don't look gift wrapped."
I love the fall. I love the change in rhythm from the chaotic, fun-filled-every-minute summer time, with
its go-GO-GO mentality, to a more introspective
savor-every-moment-of-sunshine kind of thinking.
I love having a fire going, hearing it crackle, sitting in a comfy chair, wound up in a warm throw. I love sipping on hot apple cider as I read a new favorite book.
It's getting bone chillin', here in Spokane, as my Grandma used to say. Especially in the mornings.
Fewer and fewer folks at Starbucks are ordering iced drinks as the sound of a pumpkin-spiced latte' sounds much more to their liking.
And the leaves, oh, the glorious leaves. Some trees are in the shedding process, almost as if they have gotten a haircut. Others have clinging leaves, just barely holding on to their mother lode. Some, in an instant, a blink, let go of one or two or three leaves and they float away, dance through air and then gently land on the ground. Those red and yellow and green leaves, saying goodbye after their season.
It's beautiful and at once a little sad.
Fall... the time of football and reading and hugging and thinking and pondering and reflecting...a time of small bits of nostalgia. Time to look back and ponder. Where have I been? Where am I now?
Fall...on the cusp of the holidays...Halloween and then Thanksgiving.
I love thanksGIVING.
Even more, I love thanksLIVING.
I give thanks every morning in a daily ritual. I write in a gratitude journal, a tradition started long, long ago. High school really. And in the fall I inevitably
get out some old gratitude journals and page through
them. A walk down memory lane, if you will.
Some older entries show me giving thanks for my parents, my friends, for the fact that God loves me. Giving thanks for the opportunity to go to college. Thanks for the little things like my Mom making my favorite meal, or a special Young Life meeting I attended.
And after giving thanks, I wrote about my life lessons, about what I was learning. Then I took a breath and wrote about the challenges, the heartaches, the losses.
Little losses. Big losses. Heart-crushing losses.
And as I peruse the journals and re-read the entries,
I am at once stunned and amazed. Those losses that seemed sad and hard and even unbearable have been the catalyst for my greatest growth. They have almost always propelled me to have faith in God. They have almost always inspired me to do something different, to work on myself and have new goals. Those losses have catapulted me to trust God and to pray and pray.
And as I read and read...I see over and over and over again, that prayers have been answered. Not always in the way I had hoped or planned, but answered,
according to His plan. The bigger plan I could not see or imagine then. Clearly, He had a plan that I can see only in retrospect.
And I am amazed and humbled and grateful. Everything has been a gift. All of it. The great and the small. The easy and the hard. The moments of terror where I thought I will never get through this. It was a gift too.
Everything was a gift, it's just that some things didn't look gift wrapped, especially at the time they were happening. Unexpected gifts all around me. I just didn't know it then.
As I read those old pages, a pattern becomes very clear. He has made a way where there seemed to be no way...time and time again. He, the Lord God Almighty, was there, along side me, little 'ol me, and He was faithful.
He made a way when my heart was shattered during a divorce. He made a way in healing my heart and helping me love again. He made a way when my beloved Bert fought cancer. He made a way when my precious older daughter, Jessi, was riding her bike, training for a bike race, hit a deer and sustained a brain injury. He made a way when my beloved younger daughter was running and got hit by a car.
He made a way when my Mom and dad passed away.
He made a way. He made a way when there seemed to be no way.
And so this morning, as I write in this new leather-covered journal with inspirational quotations on the inside cover, I find I am encouraged, even deeply hopeful.
No matter what happens, no matter how hard things get, I am not alone. I was not alone back in 1969, or 1984, and I am not alone in 2014.
And for that, I am deeply grateful beyond what words could ever express.
May God bless you and keep you and hold you
in the palm of His almighty hand.
May you know, in your deepest heart-of-hearts that
He will make a way for you!
Love,
Linda
Please Note: If your heart speaks to you and you want to donate to my friend Vicky's medical expense fund, please click here. We are so grateful for your support!
http://vickyfightingbreastcancer.blogspot.com/
it's just that some things
don't look gift wrapped."
I love the fall. I love the change in rhythm from the chaotic, fun-filled-every-minute summer time, with
its go-GO-GO mentality, to a more introspective
savor-every-moment-of-sunshine kind of thinking.
I love having a fire going, hearing it crackle, sitting in a comfy chair, wound up in a warm throw. I love sipping on hot apple cider as I read a new favorite book.
It's getting bone chillin', here in Spokane, as my Grandma used to say. Especially in the mornings.
Fewer and fewer folks at Starbucks are ordering iced drinks as the sound of a pumpkin-spiced latte' sounds much more to their liking.
And the leaves, oh, the glorious leaves. Some trees are in the shedding process, almost as if they have gotten a haircut. Others have clinging leaves, just barely holding on to their mother lode. Some, in an instant, a blink, let go of one or two or three leaves and they float away, dance through air and then gently land on the ground. Those red and yellow and green leaves, saying goodbye after their season.
It's beautiful and at once a little sad.
Fall... the time of football and reading and hugging and thinking and pondering and reflecting...a time of small bits of nostalgia. Time to look back and ponder. Where have I been? Where am I now?
Fall...on the cusp of the holidays...Halloween and then Thanksgiving.
I love thanksGIVING.
Even more, I love thanksLIVING.
I give thanks every morning in a daily ritual. I write in a gratitude journal, a tradition started long, long ago. High school really. And in the fall I inevitably
get out some old gratitude journals and page through
them. A walk down memory lane, if you will.
Some older entries show me giving thanks for my parents, my friends, for the fact that God loves me. Giving thanks for the opportunity to go to college. Thanks for the little things like my Mom making my favorite meal, or a special Young Life meeting I attended.
And after giving thanks, I wrote about my life lessons, about what I was learning. Then I took a breath and wrote about the challenges, the heartaches, the losses.
Little losses. Big losses. Heart-crushing losses.
And as I peruse the journals and re-read the entries,
I am at once stunned and amazed. Those losses that seemed sad and hard and even unbearable have been the catalyst for my greatest growth. They have almost always propelled me to have faith in God. They have almost always inspired me to do something different, to work on myself and have new goals. Those losses have catapulted me to trust God and to pray and pray.
And as I read and read...I see over and over and over again, that prayers have been answered. Not always in the way I had hoped or planned, but answered,
according to His plan. The bigger plan I could not see or imagine then. Clearly, He had a plan that I can see only in retrospect.
And I am amazed and humbled and grateful. Everything has been a gift. All of it. The great and the small. The easy and the hard. The moments of terror where I thought I will never get through this. It was a gift too.
Everything was a gift, it's just that some things didn't look gift wrapped, especially at the time they were happening. Unexpected gifts all around me. I just didn't know it then.
As I read those old pages, a pattern becomes very clear. He has made a way where there seemed to be no way...time and time again. He, the Lord God Almighty, was there, along side me, little 'ol me, and He was faithful.
He made a way when my heart was shattered during a divorce. He made a way in healing my heart and helping me love again. He made a way when my beloved Bert fought cancer. He made a way when my precious older daughter, Jessi, was riding her bike, training for a bike race, hit a deer and sustained a brain injury. He made a way when my beloved younger daughter was running and got hit by a car.
He made a way when my Mom and dad passed away.
He made a way. He made a way when there seemed to be no way.
And so this morning, as I write in this new leather-covered journal with inspirational quotations on the inside cover, I find I am encouraged, even deeply hopeful.
No matter what happens, no matter how hard things get, I am not alone. I was not alone back in 1969, or 1984, and I am not alone in 2014.
And for that, I am deeply grateful beyond what words could ever express.
May God bless you and keep you and hold you
in the palm of His almighty hand.
May you know, in your deepest heart-of-hearts that
He will make a way for you!
Love,
Linda
Please Note: If your heart speaks to you and you want to donate to my friend Vicky's medical expense fund, please click here. We are so grateful for your support!
http://vickyfightingbreastcancer.blogspot.com/
Monday, October 06, 2014
Dear God...this is Linda...help!
Update: After praying and praying last night, and lots of tears, I woke up with an old song on my heart. I haven't thought of it is years. The title is "God will make a way, when there seems to be no way"... so perfect and an answer to prayer.
Dear God,
You know my heart and how sad and scared I am right now. I am trying, more than ever, to trust in You.. to know that You hold us all in the palm of your Mighty Hand. I just have so many questions and the tears just keep cascading down my cheeks.
Anne Lamott talks about three prayers to pray... one of them is "help!" And that is the prayer that is pouring from my heart
to You, dear Lord. Please, "help!"
We got some hard news for my friend Vicky today. The MRI results show that the two tumors in her brain are more prominent. It sort of sounds like the usual medical options have been used up. But I know with you Lord, there are always options. There is always a road to grace. Oh please, dear God. Heal her. Calm her aching heart. Have her know Your presence. Help her heart to know how much You love her. Help sweet Vicky to know that You are there, holding her, that you will never leave her. Calm her mind and heart, dear Father. Please be with her husband, Rick, and her boys Nolan and Colton. Protect them all, Father. Please heal her.
And please, dear Lord, help my daughter Amy with the pain she is experiencing. It has been so hard to watch her need this medical procedure, after that awful car accident, and to have the paperwork hung up somewhere at Group Health. She is suffering.
Help her Lord. You can do anything. Help them to release an "okay" and a green light. She has so much living to do and it is so hard to do it with that kind of pain. You can do anything, Lord. We need Your help! Help her to know Your presence, Your love and Your comfort. Father, please heal her.
Father help me to trust You, to magnify your glory. Help me to know that You can bring good from every circumstance. Help
me to support both Vicky and Amy. Please Lord, show me the way. Teach me how to turn this over to You, to believe with all my heart that You've Got This!
Thank you for loving me, just as I am! Your love changed my life.
Much love always...
Your daughter,
Linda
If your heart speaks to you, and you can contribute to help Vicky,
please check out:
http://vickyfightingbreastcancer.blogspot.com/
God Bless!
Dear God,
You know my heart and how sad and scared I am right now. I am trying, more than ever, to trust in You.. to know that You hold us all in the palm of your Mighty Hand. I just have so many questions and the tears just keep cascading down my cheeks.
Anne Lamott talks about three prayers to pray... one of them is "help!" And that is the prayer that is pouring from my heart
to You, dear Lord. Please, "help!"
We got some hard news for my friend Vicky today. The MRI results show that the two tumors in her brain are more prominent. It sort of sounds like the usual medical options have been used up. But I know with you Lord, there are always options. There is always a road to grace. Oh please, dear God. Heal her. Calm her aching heart. Have her know Your presence. Help her heart to know how much You love her. Help sweet Vicky to know that You are there, holding her, that you will never leave her. Calm her mind and heart, dear Father. Please be with her husband, Rick, and her boys Nolan and Colton. Protect them all, Father. Please heal her.
And please, dear Lord, help my daughter Amy with the pain she is experiencing. It has been so hard to watch her need this medical procedure, after that awful car accident, and to have the paperwork hung up somewhere at Group Health. She is suffering.
Help her Lord. You can do anything. Help them to release an "okay" and a green light. She has so much living to do and it is so hard to do it with that kind of pain. You can do anything, Lord. We need Your help! Help her to know Your presence, Your love and Your comfort. Father, please heal her.
Father help me to trust You, to magnify your glory. Help me to know that You can bring good from every circumstance. Help
me to support both Vicky and Amy. Please Lord, show me the way. Teach me how to turn this over to You, to believe with all my heart that You've Got This!
Thank you for loving me, just as I am! Your love changed my life.
Much love always...
Your daughter,
Linda
If your heart speaks to you, and you can contribute to help Vicky,
please check out:
http://vickyfightingbreastcancer.blogspot.com/
God Bless!
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
One More Day...Please read and help
Courage is not having the strength to go on,
it's going on when you don't have the strength.
Update: A HUGE thank you to those of you have donated or are considering donating! Your $10 is helping to change the life of the Westra family. If you haven't donated yet, you can still do so.
Then you can sign up for one of the amazing thank you gifts.
http://vickyfightingbreastcancer.blogspot.com
I will never forget when I "met" Vicky Westra. I say met very loosely because we didn't meet in person. I met Vicky on Sara Frankl's blog, or"Gitz"as we called her. Vicky was one of Sara's supporters and Sara supported Vicky. Sara passed away just over three years ago (Sept 24th) after a long and courageous battle with a horrible disease. Vicky is still here, fighting for her life.
It's easy to describe someone by the disease they have, almost as if that illness has taken over their identity. Yet nothing could be farther from the truth with my friend Vicky. As she describes herself, she is "well, with a side of cancer." What does define Vicky however is the word COURAGE. In the midst of the greatest fight of her life, Vicky's could not be more grateful and gracious and kind. She goes on, even when she doesn't have the strength. Vicky sees life as sacred, as a miracle. And through her words that flow and sing and weave pictures, she helps all of us who love her deeply to see all the unfolding blessings that surround us. The gift of every moment, the power in being fully present in our own lives.
I feel deeply blessed to call Vicky Westra my dear friend.
She is my daily reminder that "All is well," no matter what is going on. While my shorts might be tied in a knot about some trivial irritant, she is in the middle of PET scans, chemotherapy, and MRIs, in the middle of a life turned upside down and sideways.
Yet what I know for sure is that Vicky is grateful. She is real and transparent that this journey she is on is one she never expected to take, but she is soaking in every life lesson and gift that has come with having cancer.
She is fighting to stay alive, and yet she is one of the most "ALIVE" people I know. Vicky knows that she was formed
by God's hand and that He has a purpose for her life.
She knows that she is not alone and that God is with her in every step of the way in this fight for her life.
Yet I also know that no matter how courageous someone is, cancer exacts a huge cost in life-changes and those changes demand enormous sacrifices. Vicky's husband, Rick, her oldest son, Nolan, and her sweet youngest son, Colton, have also paid an enormous price. And as everyone who has fought cancer knows, cancer is expensive. It drains families financially.
It is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, as many of you know. It is a time of gratitude and awakening...gratitude that I don't have cancer, great gratitude that my friend Eileen is finally cancer free and feeling oh so grateful to God that my precious Bert, my wonderful husband, made it through his battle with cancer.
And now, I want to help Vicky in her fight with cancer. I want Vicky to have one more day, and one more week and one more month and year and forever with her precious family. I have been praying non-stop for my sweet friend and now I want to, with another of Vicky's friends, Peggy Sue, take action. We want to help ease some of the terrible financial strain that my dear friend faces.
To do this, Peggy Sue and I decided to set up a Fundraiser and a Fundraising blog for Vicky. We wondered what could we do or what could we make that would show our love for Vicky and be a gift to those who donated to help her.
Peggy Sue is the most amazing and gifted seamstress. She sews every stitch with love and made the most beautiful quilt and pillows ever. I put together gorgeous fall baskets, brimming over with books and CDs and DVDs and Starbucks gift cards. By making a donation to this Fund for Vicky, to help with her cancer expenses, you can designate which thank you gift you would like to be in a drawing for.
Vicky would never ask you to help her. So Peggy Sue and I are asking in her place. Would you take a few minutes and go to
the blog One More Day? Would you read about Vicky and pass on her story and the link to this blog? Click here:
http:vickyfightingbreastcancer.blogspot.com/
We need your help...
Would you consider taking the money you might use for several espressos or money that might go for a special treat, and instead help our friend? Do you have children who might like to help with such a worthwhile cause? What a great way for them to learn about real courage by hearing Vicky's story.
If all of us just do a little, we can make miracles happen.
And if you are someone who believes in the power of prayer, and Vicky, Peggy Sue and I do, would you ask God Almighty to heal Vicky, to help her get well and to give her the strength she needs for this battle. Rick thanks you for helping his beloved wife. And Nolan and Colton thank you for helping their Mommy have one more day.
And I thank you for listening. And sweet Vicky, if you are reading this, I love you to the moon and back again!
God Bless!
Linda
it's going on when you don't have the strength.
Update: A HUGE thank you to those of you have donated or are considering donating! Your $10 is helping to change the life of the Westra family. If you haven't donated yet, you can still do so.
Then you can sign up for one of the amazing thank you gifts.
http://vickyfightingbreastcancer.blogspot.com
I will never forget when I "met" Vicky Westra. I say met very loosely because we didn't meet in person. I met Vicky on Sara Frankl's blog, or"Gitz"as we called her. Vicky was one of Sara's supporters and Sara supported Vicky. Sara passed away just over three years ago (Sept 24th) after a long and courageous battle with a horrible disease. Vicky is still here, fighting for her life.
It's easy to describe someone by the disease they have, almost as if that illness has taken over their identity. Yet nothing could be farther from the truth with my friend Vicky. As she describes herself, she is "well, with a side of cancer." What does define Vicky however is the word COURAGE. In the midst of the greatest fight of her life, Vicky's could not be more grateful and gracious and kind. She goes on, even when she doesn't have the strength. Vicky sees life as sacred, as a miracle. And through her words that flow and sing and weave pictures, she helps all of us who love her deeply to see all the unfolding blessings that surround us. The gift of every moment, the power in being fully present in our own lives.
I feel deeply blessed to call Vicky Westra my dear friend.
She is my daily reminder that "All is well," no matter what is going on. While my shorts might be tied in a knot about some trivial irritant, she is in the middle of PET scans, chemotherapy, and MRIs, in the middle of a life turned upside down and sideways.
Yet what I know for sure is that Vicky is grateful. She is real and transparent that this journey she is on is one she never expected to take, but she is soaking in every life lesson and gift that has come with having cancer.
She is fighting to stay alive, and yet she is one of the most "ALIVE" people I know. Vicky knows that she was formed
by God's hand and that He has a purpose for her life.
She knows that she is not alone and that God is with her in every step of the way in this fight for her life.
Yet I also know that no matter how courageous someone is, cancer exacts a huge cost in life-changes and those changes demand enormous sacrifices. Vicky's husband, Rick, her oldest son, Nolan, and her sweet youngest son, Colton, have also paid an enormous price. And as everyone who has fought cancer knows, cancer is expensive. It drains families financially.
It is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, as many of you know. It is a time of gratitude and awakening...gratitude that I don't have cancer, great gratitude that my friend Eileen is finally cancer free and feeling oh so grateful to God that my precious Bert, my wonderful husband, made it through his battle with cancer.
And now, I want to help Vicky in her fight with cancer. I want Vicky to have one more day, and one more week and one more month and year and forever with her precious family. I have been praying non-stop for my sweet friend and now I want to, with another of Vicky's friends, Peggy Sue, take action. We want to help ease some of the terrible financial strain that my dear friend faces.
To do this, Peggy Sue and I decided to set up a Fundraiser and a Fundraising blog for Vicky. We wondered what could we do or what could we make that would show our love for Vicky and be a gift to those who donated to help her.
Peggy Sue is the most amazing and gifted seamstress. She sews every stitch with love and made the most beautiful quilt and pillows ever. I put together gorgeous fall baskets, brimming over with books and CDs and DVDs and Starbucks gift cards. By making a donation to this Fund for Vicky, to help with her cancer expenses, you can designate which thank you gift you would like to be in a drawing for.
Vicky would never ask you to help her. So Peggy Sue and I are asking in her place. Would you take a few minutes and go to
the blog One More Day? Would you read about Vicky and pass on her story and the link to this blog? Click here:
http:vickyfightingbreastcancer.blogspot.com/
We need your help...
Would you consider taking the money you might use for several espressos or money that might go for a special treat, and instead help our friend? Do you have children who might like to help with such a worthwhile cause? What a great way for them to learn about real courage by hearing Vicky's story.
If all of us just do a little, we can make miracles happen.
And if you are someone who believes in the power of prayer, and Vicky, Peggy Sue and I do, would you ask God Almighty to heal Vicky, to help her get well and to give her the strength she needs for this battle. Rick thanks you for helping his beloved wife. And Nolan and Colton thank you for helping their Mommy have one more day.
And I thank you for listening. And sweet Vicky, if you are reading this, I love you to the moon and back again!
God Bless!
Linda
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Staying Positive in an Upside Down World...
Try to see things more and more from My perspective. Let the light of My presence so fully fill your mind that you view the world through Me. When little things don't go as you had hoped, look to Me lightheartedly and say, "Oh, well." This simple discipline can protect you from being burdened with an accumulation of petty cares and frustrations.
- Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
I can almost hear her as if she was in the next room, my Grandma, that saucy, say-it-like-it-is role model for my life. Every once in awhile she would stop in her tracks, sigh, look up and talk to God out loud and say, with a highly exasperated tone of voice, "Lord, what is this world coming to?" My Grandma Florence had a very clear vision of how things were supposed to be and how people were supposed to behave and when things appeared "upside down," as she used to call it, it was clear that her frustration had reached a point of no return. She was letting us know that behavior and decorum had reached such a new low that she could hardly stand it. What were we coming to? Where had the old values gone? How had things reached this new low?
I remember now that even though I found her exasperation a bit dramatic as I grew up, that you didn't argue with Grandma nor try to explain that cultures change, people act differently, things now just weren't the same as when she grew up. What she called, "old-fashioned values"seemed to her to be sliding down the hill, perhaps never to be heard from again. And when I would hear her exclaim, "What is this world coming to?", with anguish and pain in her voice, I thought to myself that she was just too old school and a bit overly dramatic. I remember promising myself that when I got to be her age (she was in her 60s then) I wouldn't be so old-fashioned. I wouldn't be caught dead howling into the air my high pitched distain for those young people and their misplaced values.
Well truth be told, I was wrong. I owe my Grandma a big apology. I now get it.
Some days I can barely listen to the news without feeling like this world has gone crazy and that the bar of what is good and decent in human behavior has slipped to such a low that I want to cover my grandchildren's ears so this new low doesn't impact them and taint their view of the world.
Yet truthfully, some of those "upside down issues" I get howling about these days are, on a scale of one to ten (ten being of high importance), a one or a two. Sometimes I get ranting about little things in life that I can't control. Can I hear an "Amen" on this ? When certain things don't go as I had hoped, I can, in an instant, make truly small things into bigger things. I can waste time and energy with the small shoulda couldas. I forget to see those "problems through the eyes of Jesus" and what matters to Him." I find it difficult to look at the little things and say"Oh well. This didn't go as I had hoped." Sadly, viewing small things "lightheartedly" has not been a strength of mine. It's very easy for me to dwell on little things and make them major things and not see them as God sees them. I don't think I'm alone in struggling with this.
However, not everything is small. There are more serious Upside Down issues that seem to warrant my time, thought and attention. They speak to the core of who we are, how we live our lives and the kinds of role models we are for young people today.
What am I referring to? Here are just a few of the bigger "upside down" things that make we want to sit right down with Jesus this morning and apologize for the mess we are all in.
1) The entire Ray Rice domestic violence issue: How totally sad, how awful that this young man made this choice. And how sad that his then fiance didn't see that they both got help before she married him. And then the whole rash of other football issues dealing with domestic violence and child abuse. One football player smashing his wife in the face because she didn't want to have sex with him. Yuk! How sad for everyone involved. How sad that it took an uproar of public opinion to get the NFL to do something. Domestic violence hits every culture and every economic level. It isn't new, yet hearing about it daily makes me think we are all a mess.
If I reflect on the message of this morning's Jesus Calling and seeing Ray Rice, and others currently in the news, through the eyes of Jesus, what do I see?
Seen through the eyes of Jesus, I can imagine Jesus sitting down with Ray Rice and having a very hard, heart-to-heart talk, just like He did with the woman at the well. I can imagine Him talking to Ray with compassion and saying "Go and sin no more." I can imagine Jesus telling Ray that the children of God, sadly, all do hurt and violence to each other. We, as His children, are all sinners and broken, so broken. I imagine Jesus not for one minute condoning what Ray did, but also seeing him as a very broken young man who is so, so off track and lost and needing help. Lots of help. What I LOVE about my Jesus is that Ray Rice would be exactly the kind of lost soul He would seek out, the kind of hurt man He would hold. The kind of sinner Jesus came to save, not reject. True the world, in some very serious issues, feels upside down and it's so sad to see and hear about the hurt that we who are so lost inflict on each other.
Yet what I know for sure is that Jesus embraces us, seeks us out
and loves us, even when we are at our very worst.
2) For me, another upside down mess is the latest Jennifer Lopez video where she is singing about and displaying her "booty" in public. Okay, I have lost my mind with this. What I see as very poor taste, I imagine Jesus would also not be happy about. But perhaps, if I look at this upside down mess through the eyes of Jesus, my sense of indignation would at least have an edge of compassion for how lost J-Lo must truly be. Jesus would not exclude Jennifer, but hold out the gift of His salvation to help her hurting heart. No matter what Jennifer does, she is a child of God. I may not like the video she made, but I hope I remember clearly that just as Jesus loves me, He also loves her.
Jesus Calling also goes on to say, "If you practice this diligently (seeing things more from My perspective) you will make a life-changing discovery. You realize that most of the things that worry you are not important. If you shrug them off immediately and return your focus to Me, you will walk through your days with lighter steps and a joyful heart. When serious problems come your way, you will have more reserves for dealing with them.
I think my "life-lesson" this morning is to let go of the small and meaningless issues that are just not important. They are in fact small irritations. Seen through the eyes of my Savior, they deserve an "Oh well" and then let them go. Don't hold on to anger and irritation about things that truly don't matter.
And when things do matter, and they seem so "upside down"
that I can barely stand it, my life lesson is to also see those things through the eyes of Jesus. The Jesus who stood his ground about what was right and what was wrong. The Jesus who showed compassion, especially to all of us who make BIG mistakes. To see Ray Rice as a lost child of God and pray for Him. To pray for Jennifer Lopez that she might know God's love and attention for her so clearly that she feels no need to make a video like this. And to be grateful, truly grateful, for the compassion Jesus has shown to me when I make horrible mistakes. To be grateful, truly grateful, for the hard talks Jesus has had with me. The "get it together, Linda" moments that have not been easy to listen to. The mix of hard truth and loving compassion I get from Jesus has been soul-saving for me.
Bottom line, I want to let the light of God's presence so fully fill my mind that I view the world through Him, the God that I know and love and serve.
I also want to keep my eyes on Jesus, on all the good news that is right-side up (more on this in my next post :), and keep my focus and attention on those who are kind, loving, show gratitude and are teaching me to "walk like Jesus walked and talk like Jesus talked." And finally, when we all stumble and make a mess of things, and we all do, I want to show compassion and be less judgmental and more prayerful and loving.
God Bless!
Love, Linda
- Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
I can almost hear her as if she was in the next room, my Grandma, that saucy, say-it-like-it-is role model for my life. Every once in awhile she would stop in her tracks, sigh, look up and talk to God out loud and say, with a highly exasperated tone of voice, "Lord, what is this world coming to?" My Grandma Florence had a very clear vision of how things were supposed to be and how people were supposed to behave and when things appeared "upside down," as she used to call it, it was clear that her frustration had reached a point of no return. She was letting us know that behavior and decorum had reached such a new low that she could hardly stand it. What were we coming to? Where had the old values gone? How had things reached this new low?
I remember now that even though I found her exasperation a bit dramatic as I grew up, that you didn't argue with Grandma nor try to explain that cultures change, people act differently, things now just weren't the same as when she grew up. What she called, "old-fashioned values"seemed to her to be sliding down the hill, perhaps never to be heard from again. And when I would hear her exclaim, "What is this world coming to?", with anguish and pain in her voice, I thought to myself that she was just too old school and a bit overly dramatic. I remember promising myself that when I got to be her age (she was in her 60s then) I wouldn't be so old-fashioned. I wouldn't be caught dead howling into the air my high pitched distain for those young people and their misplaced values.
Well truth be told, I was wrong. I owe my Grandma a big apology. I now get it.
Some days I can barely listen to the news without feeling like this world has gone crazy and that the bar of what is good and decent in human behavior has slipped to such a low that I want to cover my grandchildren's ears so this new low doesn't impact them and taint their view of the world.
Yet truthfully, some of those "upside down issues" I get howling about these days are, on a scale of one to ten (ten being of high importance), a one or a two. Sometimes I get ranting about little things in life that I can't control. Can I hear an "Amen" on this ? When certain things don't go as I had hoped, I can, in an instant, make truly small things into bigger things. I can waste time and energy with the small shoulda couldas. I forget to see those "problems through the eyes of Jesus" and what matters to Him." I find it difficult to look at the little things and say"Oh well. This didn't go as I had hoped." Sadly, viewing small things "lightheartedly" has not been a strength of mine. It's very easy for me to dwell on little things and make them major things and not see them as God sees them. I don't think I'm alone in struggling with this.
However, not everything is small. There are more serious Upside Down issues that seem to warrant my time, thought and attention. They speak to the core of who we are, how we live our lives and the kinds of role models we are for young people today.
What am I referring to? Here are just a few of the bigger "upside down" things that make we want to sit right down with Jesus this morning and apologize for the mess we are all in.
1) The entire Ray Rice domestic violence issue: How totally sad, how awful that this young man made this choice. And how sad that his then fiance didn't see that they both got help before she married him. And then the whole rash of other football issues dealing with domestic violence and child abuse. One football player smashing his wife in the face because she didn't want to have sex with him. Yuk! How sad for everyone involved. How sad that it took an uproar of public opinion to get the NFL to do something. Domestic violence hits every culture and every economic level. It isn't new, yet hearing about it daily makes me think we are all a mess.
If I reflect on the message of this morning's Jesus Calling and seeing Ray Rice, and others currently in the news, through the eyes of Jesus, what do I see?
Seen through the eyes of Jesus, I can imagine Jesus sitting down with Ray Rice and having a very hard, heart-to-heart talk, just like He did with the woman at the well. I can imagine Him talking to Ray with compassion and saying "Go and sin no more." I can imagine Jesus telling Ray that the children of God, sadly, all do hurt and violence to each other. We, as His children, are all sinners and broken, so broken. I imagine Jesus not for one minute condoning what Ray did, but also seeing him as a very broken young man who is so, so off track and lost and needing help. Lots of help. What I LOVE about my Jesus is that Ray Rice would be exactly the kind of lost soul He would seek out, the kind of hurt man He would hold. The kind of sinner Jesus came to save, not reject. True the world, in some very serious issues, feels upside down and it's so sad to see and hear about the hurt that we who are so lost inflict on each other.
Yet what I know for sure is that Jesus embraces us, seeks us out
and loves us, even when we are at our very worst.
2) For me, another upside down mess is the latest Jennifer Lopez video where she is singing about and displaying her "booty" in public. Okay, I have lost my mind with this. What I see as very poor taste, I imagine Jesus would also not be happy about. But perhaps, if I look at this upside down mess through the eyes of Jesus, my sense of indignation would at least have an edge of compassion for how lost J-Lo must truly be. Jesus would not exclude Jennifer, but hold out the gift of His salvation to help her hurting heart. No matter what Jennifer does, she is a child of God. I may not like the video she made, but I hope I remember clearly that just as Jesus loves me, He also loves her.
Jesus Calling also goes on to say, "If you practice this diligently (seeing things more from My perspective) you will make a life-changing discovery. You realize that most of the things that worry you are not important. If you shrug them off immediately and return your focus to Me, you will walk through your days with lighter steps and a joyful heart. When serious problems come your way, you will have more reserves for dealing with them.
I think my "life-lesson" this morning is to let go of the small and meaningless issues that are just not important. They are in fact small irritations. Seen through the eyes of my Savior, they deserve an "Oh well" and then let them go. Don't hold on to anger and irritation about things that truly don't matter.
And when things do matter, and they seem so "upside down"
that I can barely stand it, my life lesson is to also see those things through the eyes of Jesus. The Jesus who stood his ground about what was right and what was wrong. The Jesus who showed compassion, especially to all of us who make BIG mistakes. To see Ray Rice as a lost child of God and pray for Him. To pray for Jennifer Lopez that she might know God's love and attention for her so clearly that she feels no need to make a video like this. And to be grateful, truly grateful, for the compassion Jesus has shown to me when I make horrible mistakes. To be grateful, truly grateful, for the hard talks Jesus has had with me. The "get it together, Linda" moments that have not been easy to listen to. The mix of hard truth and loving compassion I get from Jesus has been soul-saving for me.
Bottom line, I want to let the light of God's presence so fully fill my mind that I view the world through Him, the God that I know and love and serve.
I also want to keep my eyes on Jesus, on all the good news that is right-side up (more on this in my next post :), and keep my focus and attention on those who are kind, loving, show gratitude and are teaching me to "walk like Jesus walked and talk like Jesus talked." And finally, when we all stumble and make a mess of things, and we all do, I want to show compassion and be less judgmental and more prayerful and loving.
God Bless!
Love, Linda
Tuesday, September 09, 2014
When I Feel Troubled...
We are not troubled
by the things
that happen to us,
but by our opinion
of the things
that happen to us.
Some weeks I just struggle. A sense of unrest wanders in and perches
in my heart and soul. I feel off balance and as if I'm holding my breath.
I reach out and talk to God almost endlessly. As Ann Lamott says, one of my three most important prayers is "HELP!"
This is that kind of week.
I'm in that in between place where almost everyone has gone back to school
and starting again for me is right around the corner. And my heart is heavy. Even though I know God has a plan and that everything works for His good,
I am scared. Lots and lots of things are changing right before my eyes.
My conversations with God go something like this:
"Is it just me, Lord? I feel so little and scared and like I can't breathe. I know You are in charge, so could You please let me know that everything is going to be okay? I'm not sure if I'm misinterpreting things and seeing people and circumstances the way you would want me to see them.
Okay, so I know the answer to that. I know I'm not seeing them that way. My opinion of things is leaving You out of the picture. I have the biggest lump in my throat.
Could You please help me to trust You more?"
Probably the biggest, most scary, most 'I have no vote on this' and how it turns out...thing that is happening is that my precious friend Vicky Westra
has had a PET scan this week. Yesterday to be exact. Vicky has stage IV breast cancer and the test will give the doctors information about where active cancer
still exists in her body (from the neck down). It's a this is where you really are kind of moment.
I have been on my knees this weekend praying and praying for a miracle.
Tears have flowed. I believe in the power of prayer and I know Vicky's
prayer warriors are all doing the same.
Beseeching the Lord God Almighty...
Please give my special friend Vicky two more weeks and two more months and forever to be here with her precious family.
And I wonder, in the early morning hours, how this must feel to her amazing husband, Rick, and to her two sons Nolan and Colton, especially Colton.
Perhaps the two boys don't know the magnitude of this test.
If I'm honest, I've been a little mad at God. You see I've been here before. Praying and beseeching for sweet little Daisy Love Merrick, just a little girl, who fought cancer so, so hard. Who loved God with all her heart. And she went home to Jesus. It broke her Mommy and Daddy's hearts. And it hurt so much to lose her. And when that happened I wondered to God, silently and out loud, why He didn't answer all of those prayers to make her well again.
I know, in my mind and heart, that Daisy's little-girl faith impacted thousands and thousands of people, but I am still so sad that she isn't here. Yet I am pulled back to what it is I know to be true about the God I know and love and serve...
I still know, no matter what, that prayer is powerful and that God hears our prayers.
I still know that God does miracles every day.
I still know that God's timing is almost never my timing.
I still know that God loves me and He loves Vicky and He will be there no matter what the results of the test show.
I know that I have an opinion of what God should do and when He should do it.
And I am troubled because I am struggling to just let go and truly turn all of this, all of my life and all of my fears, over to Him.
And so this morning, I will do just that. Pray for Vicky and pray that my heart finds rest. As it says in today's entry in Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:
Walk with Me along paths of trust. The most direct route between point A and point B on your life-journey is the path of unwavering trust in Me.
...As soon as you realize you have wandered from your trust-path, look to me and whisper, "I trust You, Jesus."
And to that I whisper those exact words and say, "Amen and Amen!"
Could I please ask a favor? Could you please keep my dear friend Vicky in your prayers? Thanks!
God Bless!
Love, Linda
by the things
that happen to us,
but by our opinion
of the things
that happen to us.
Some weeks I just struggle. A sense of unrest wanders in and perches
in my heart and soul. I feel off balance and as if I'm holding my breath.
I reach out and talk to God almost endlessly. As Ann Lamott says, one of my three most important prayers is "HELP!"
This is that kind of week.
I'm in that in between place where almost everyone has gone back to school
and starting again for me is right around the corner. And my heart is heavy. Even though I know God has a plan and that everything works for His good,
I am scared. Lots and lots of things are changing right before my eyes.
My conversations with God go something like this:
"Is it just me, Lord? I feel so little and scared and like I can't breathe. I know You are in charge, so could You please let me know that everything is going to be okay? I'm not sure if I'm misinterpreting things and seeing people and circumstances the way you would want me to see them.
Okay, so I know the answer to that. I know I'm not seeing them that way. My opinion of things is leaving You out of the picture. I have the biggest lump in my throat.
Could You please help me to trust You more?"
Probably the biggest, most scary, most 'I have no vote on this' and how it turns out...thing that is happening is that my precious friend Vicky Westra
has had a PET scan this week. Yesterday to be exact. Vicky has stage IV breast cancer and the test will give the doctors information about where active cancer
still exists in her body (from the neck down). It's a this is where you really are kind of moment.
I have been on my knees this weekend praying and praying for a miracle.
Tears have flowed. I believe in the power of prayer and I know Vicky's
prayer warriors are all doing the same.
Beseeching the Lord God Almighty...
Please give my special friend Vicky two more weeks and two more months and forever to be here with her precious family.
And I wonder, in the early morning hours, how this must feel to her amazing husband, Rick, and to her two sons Nolan and Colton, especially Colton.
Perhaps the two boys don't know the magnitude of this test.
If I'm honest, I've been a little mad at God. You see I've been here before. Praying and beseeching for sweet little Daisy Love Merrick, just a little girl, who fought cancer so, so hard. Who loved God with all her heart. And she went home to Jesus. It broke her Mommy and Daddy's hearts. And it hurt so much to lose her. And when that happened I wondered to God, silently and out loud, why He didn't answer all of those prayers to make her well again.
I know, in my mind and heart, that Daisy's little-girl faith impacted thousands and thousands of people, but I am still so sad that she isn't here. Yet I am pulled back to what it is I know to be true about the God I know and love and serve...
I still know, no matter what, that prayer is powerful and that God hears our prayers.
I still know that God does miracles every day.
I still know that God's timing is almost never my timing.
I still know that God loves me and He loves Vicky and He will be there no matter what the results of the test show.
I know that I have an opinion of what God should do and when He should do it.
And I am troubled because I am struggling to just let go and truly turn all of this, all of my life and all of my fears, over to Him.
And so this morning, I will do just that. Pray for Vicky and pray that my heart finds rest. As it says in today's entry in Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:
Walk with Me along paths of trust. The most direct route between point A and point B on your life-journey is the path of unwavering trust in Me.
...As soon as you realize you have wandered from your trust-path, look to me and whisper, "I trust You, Jesus."
And to that I whisper those exact words and say, "Amen and Amen!"
Could I please ask a favor? Could you please keep my dear friend Vicky in your prayers? Thanks!
God Bless!
Love, Linda
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