When I arrived home yesterday (Friday) after grading non stop (yes, it is finals week) a small package was waiting for me. My friend Sharon sent me a wonderful little book called:
100 Ways To Keep Your Soul Alive: Living Deeply and Fully Every Day!
Just reading the title almost brought me to tears. Truth be told, this has been one heck of a winter quarter. Students and teachers alike are exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I feel tossed and battered from every side, really an emotional roller coaster. There have been the highest of highs and some pretty tough lows. I have been praying constantly asking God to give me perspective , wisdom, strength, and the good sense to rely on Him!
My last class day with students was this Thursday, and I said goodbye to 93 amazing human beings. I am so attached to my students that this is a gut-wretching experience. I have their take home finals to grade and final grades to calculate. My classroom looks like a tornado hit it last week, and I need to prepare to teach a new course next quarter.
Also, Thursday afternoon my nine Washington State troopers (they were in my 8:30 class) came by in uniform and wanted to have a picture taken with me. They also presented me with "The Gold Medallion for the Washington State Patrol". What an honor! I can't imagine not seeing all of them in my 8:30 class.
My life is out of balance and that is not new for me (especially at the end of a quarter) and my soul feels weary. Somewhere in the 254th paper I graded I didn't make much time for prayer, church, or things that restore me. So being a bit depleted, and having another tough situation hit home, I felt pretty empty as I opened the small package from my friend.
The first chapter is entitled Live in THIS Moment. It says:
I was regretting the past and fearing the future. Suddenly God was speaking. "My name is
'I Am.'" I waited. God continued.
"When you live in the past with its mistakes and regrets, it is hard. I am not there. My name is not 'I was.'
"When you live in the future, with its problems and fears, I am not there. My name is not 'I will be.'
"When you live in this moment, it is not hard. I am here. My name is 'I Am.'
So yesterday, after eating lunch and taking a nap, I finished helping Holly with the two flower arrangements I was making for the STIX auction for Tim, Kris, and Anna. I felt a sense of peace. I prayed while I cut flowers and felt a little restored.
I got out my journal and wrote and wrote. I sat by the fire and drank warm tea. I focused on
all the blessings that surround my life.
I met a new consulting client at Lindamans and found I was smiling more and breathing more deeply. I said a small prayer, before I met with her, that God might help me to find the right words so I could be of help to her.
This morning I slept in until 5:00 (that's sleeping in for me:)) and I feel focused on THIS moment and God's healing presence. I'm headed to watch my precious granddaughter Emma swim laps this morning, pick up an espresso, and "keep my hand in the hand of the man who stilled the waters" as the song says.
It has been a wonderful, challenging, long, tough quarter, but that is behind me. Today I'm living in THIS moment!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
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