Thursday, April 09, 2015

A Hard Week for My Dear Friends...

                                      Death ends a life,
                    not a relationship.               
                               ~Morrie Schwartz, Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

Tuesday I was just in shock. Things coming around the corner, unexpected things. Some expected things, but the timing kept me off guard. 

turned to my Jesus Calling book at the end of the day for a bit of guidance and solace. The overriding question?

What would God have me take away from all of this?

Here's what  Jesus Calling said for April 7th,

"I am the Potter; you are My clay. I designed you before the foundation of the world. I arrange the events of each day to form you into the preconceived pattern. My Everlasting love is at work in every event in your life..."

This morning I am so grateful for His everlasting love. I am so grateful that He is at work in every

event in my life. In my life and in your life, He is at work. 

Even the hard events.

Yesterday I found out that two of my dear friends, Vicky Westra and Roberta Green, lost their Moms.

Vicky on Sunday and Roberta on Monday. Vicky's Mom had been ill and recently put into palliative care. Roberta's mom was 100 years old. And even though in both cases you might imagine that they would leave at some point, you are never, ever ready to have it happen.. today.

No matter your relationship, it is a huge loss to lose a parent. In both cases, my friends have now lost both parents. I have been there. It's a shock and a hole and a sadness and a relief for your parent because they were ready to go Home, even if you weren't ready to have them leave.

One of my favorite quotations says...

            We are all just walking each other home.
                                                            ~Ram Dass 

What a privilege and honor to be there when someone is born. You witness a miracle. 

And what a privilege and honor it is to be there when someone goes Home to God, whose spirit leaves their body behind and they move on to the spirit world. Again, you witness a miracle.

In my own experience with being there when my Mom went Home, it was as breath-taking  and miraculous as the birth of my two daughters. While it was also laced with great sadness and great loss, it was a making of triumph for the life she had lived. 

To be able to whisper to her, "Mom, we are all here. We love you so much. We will always love you and miss you. But it's okay to go. We will be fine. You don't have to worry. Daddy's waiting for you so you don't have to be afraid." As the girls stroked her hair and put lipstick on her so she's look "just right" (she never went out without her lipstick on), she took one last sigh and and went home to God.

Yet the on-going mystery and great comfort for me, is that I was so afraid that when she died, I'd lose her. She would be gone. 

What I didn't know then and do know now is that...

     Death ends a life. It doesn't end a relationship. 

The walking home process isn't easy. My Dad had already passed away, and shortly after that my Mom became ill. For two and a half years she slowly slipped away. Inch-by-inch. I held her hand. I walked her through it. Our roles changed and I became the caretaker. It wasn't easy for either of us. But we did it together. I miss her every day and talk to her all the time. I tell her the things her granddaughters are doing and smile as I recount moments to her by saying... You would have loved this, Mom.

So as I see my two dear friends go through this transition of a Momma going home, I hold them tightly in prayer.

Will you join me in praying for their strength and comfort?

If you believe in prayer, would you please pray for my two special friends Vicky and Roberta. For peace and love and hope and understanding. Both have been attending to their Moms for some time. They have both been great daughters. Please pray for healing in their hearts.

And all the people said...Amen!

God Bless!


Peggy Sue said...

Linda, your words ring true..I thought it such a great priveledge...just like you said, even tho it is laced with sadness a grief. To give My mom who took care of me...those days of carring for her...well, it ment everything. When my mom went home...I also found myself a ummm orphan. My biological father passed away at only 58. It is a strange place to be, when both your parents are gone...they were your parents! I felt peace when my mom went home...a peace becuase she was whole again. I have never forgotten it...and I miss her, and it seems as the years go by...the missing becomes a bit more, not less. and yet, that makes it also beautiful, because that is love...I will see her again! Beautiful as always Linda..just beautiful!

Vicky said...

I garner so much insight when I read your own accounting of loss- it somehow brings comfort to me, even though I can feel the sadness, too.

As I read, I can feel your presence and hear your voice and it truly feels as though you are right here with me. So thankful for you, soul-sister.

Much love to you~

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