Sunday, November 15, 2015

One More...

            You'll never truly understand how
             beautiful everything is until you
              are near the end of your journey.
                                     -Archie Grabor, Bert's friend

I wish that God had a bartering system where you could
come to His throne and say, "Could I give you this and then You give them that?" Sort of a green stamps system, if you will. I could purchase things for others with the stamps left in my own envelope.

It doesn't work that way, but I sure wish it did.

I wish that all of us who have been so blessed and lived long and healthy lives could come to God and say, "Okay Lord, how about you shorten my life by two years so I can give these two amazing people an extra year on their lives."

Just one more year, each. 

It doesn't work that way, but I sure wish it did.

I am sixty eight years old and while I have had a few ups and downs with my health, like so many do, I have never had a major illness like some of my dear ones have struggled with.
I have had challenges, certainly. Super challenges, no.

Now you might dispute that statement by saying, "Linda, you were born with one hand that is normal size and one small hand, your "luck fin," as the grandchildren affectionately call it."

"Isn't that enough challenge?" you might add.

Certainly some of my greatest life-lessons have come from being visibly different. Certainly I have had to tie my shoes in my own special way, learn how to water ski and snow ski in my own special way, and learn to play the chord organ in my own special way. I have even had to navigate some awkward moments with others when they first see my hand.

"Yes," I would tell you with a smile on my face, "there were some inconveniences in all of that. Yet inconveniences are very different from life-bending health challenges that turn your life upside down and shorten your years."

I have been blessed beyond measure.

You might, out of pure kindness, bring up the challenge I faced going through a divorce. "Isn't that enough?" you might ask.

And I would answer, "Yes, many years ago I went through a divorce that broke my heart and changed everything in my life.
Yet I still loved God and my daughters, and thanks to the Lord and His grace, was able to make a new life. Also, I never would have been married to Bert all these wonderful years if I hadn't gone through that."

I have been blessed beyond measure in each of these challenges partly because I still had my health. I am grateful to God, oh so grateful to God for that health, yet it leaves me wondering.

Why me?Why have I been so healthy and others struggled so hard? I know God doesn't give people illnesses, and I know He holds them close when they are sick. I know that He can cure people. Why, when so many are praying, hasn't that happened?
At least not yet. 

That's a question I'll ask the Lord when it is my time to go to my heavenly "home."I'll also let Him know that while I don't know His bigger plan for their lives, I am just a little passed off about my dear ones still being so sick.

You might wonder if that isn't just a little too bold for me to be questioning the Lord God Almighty, let alone tell Him I am pissed off.

I would reassure you that bold is how He made me and that the Lord can surely stand to hear my upsets, tears and pissed offness.

But back to the bartering system that I'd like to suggest to the Lord Almighty.

I would like to give up two years on this wonderful earth He created if He could please take those years and give them to Vicky Westra and Joey. Both of them have stage four cancer.

They so desperately need just "one more" day and week and year to be with those they love and adore.

One more day and week and year to raise their children and
love their husbands.

Just one more.

And since I have already had these gifts, and lived such a full and amazing life, I'd like for them to have what I have had.

More time.

And to my dear friend and soul sister Vicky, I so wish I could take your weekly, awful taxol appointment for you so you could rest up and start to feel better.

It doesn't work like that, but I sure wish it did.

Yet while God doesn't have a bartering system, He has told me that what I can do is pray. I can also love and support my dear ones in small ways that ease their burdens and help to heal their hearts. I can let them know they matter. They matter so much.

So I am praying without ceasing. Praying God will do what I can't and I am loving them in their hard times. And here is my prayer, "Please God, heal them and give them one more day and week and year."

Would you pray that prayer along with me?

And may God bless you and keep you and hold all of us in the palm of His Almighty hand!

God Bless!
Love, Linda


Jackie said...

Praying for our dear friends with cancer.
Thank you for your dedicated prayer life.

Vicky said...

Oh Linda,

Its one of the most touching, selfless, and generous things I've had someone say... truly I can hardly process the idea. I simply know, you are such a blessing to so many- your kids, and grands, and Bert, and your students- a true treasure and you touch so many of us with so many things that uplift, inspire, encourage and show love to us!! Where would any of us be, without you as an angel here on earth, watching over us.You have such a natural gift of giving, of you gifts, talents, time, and attention- so selfless- you teach so many of us how to be in this world...

I'm still working on my post- your beautiful box of gifts is in the midst of the sheer "joy" that arrived simply because of you! I can take the taxol, because it came with such love all around it!! Love you, Linda- more than I can possibly say to you!

Miss Myia said...

Love you T.I.A.B. with a kabillion hugs too! Myia

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