IT IS NOT GIVEN US
TO LIVE LIVES
OF UNDISRUPTED CALM, BOREDOM,
IT IS GIVEN US
TO BE EDGE-DWELLERS
I love this quotation, I really do. It speaks to my heart about life being an adventure and taking risks. Yet another part of me wishes to argue with the author, and having been on the Debate Team of the University of Washington I can swing a fine argument.
I don't know Mr. Deacon, and I am sure he is a fine fellow. Yet I want to say to him something along the lines of...
"Edge-dwell, really?" "You want us to not live lives of undisrupted calm and dwell on the edge?"
"Well see here, Mister. I HAVE been dwelling on the edge and a little undisrupted calm sounds pretty great to me right now!"
"No, I don't want mediocrity either, yet some boredom might help me regroup."
I'm like that, you know. Chatting back in my mind to people, and even sometimes chatting back with God. I'm good for at least five, loud, in-my-head,
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" comments per week (all said in a semi-loud, whiny voice)...
Are you kidding me that the temperature is going to be 7 degrees the first week in March?
Are you kidding me that there is so much snow in Spokane that you can hardly
get out our back door and it feels like spring will never get here?
Are you kidding me that no one is going to vacuum my classroom at the college
so I need to bring my own vac to school?
My "Are you kidding me?" retorts are all laced with impatience. Yes, my very own, ugly, sinful, prideful impatience. The kind of impatience that I see in a toddler who stomps their foot when they don't get what they want, when they want it.
Yet, and I may be rationalizing here, I think..
IMPATIENCE MAY COME FROM A BIT OF TOO MUCH EDGE-DWELLING.
When I am fearful, and don't fully trust the Lord, I can turn a situation into a fear-based trauma that catapults me to edge-dwelling while holding my breath.
Edge-dwelling that is self-created, fear-based and leaves Jesus out of the equation just doesn't work for me. And the Lord knows I've tried it. It is all about trying to get things to happen in a way that works for me and a request, no a demand, that it happen in my timing. If I'm edge-dwelling and seeking to somehow control the uncontrollable, then that is pure misery and poorly extended energy.
Edge-dwelling as an adventure, with Jesus in the center, looks quite different.
I am breathing, trusting, and knowing that this Adventure God has me on is guided by Him.
If I sit on the edge, breathe, listen to Him, read His word, and TRUST His plan for my life, the view from the edge is breath-taking, guided by Him, and full of a spirit-of-adventure.
On the "edge" means I am lovingly confronted with my growing edges. He is patient, knows who I am, and knows my heart. He is my patience and my reserve. He loves me exactly as I am and loves me too much to leave me on that edge without helping me to change.
And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is food-for-thought that I can easily swallow! :)
Sending you warm, joy-filled weekend hugs, no matter what the temperature is where you are.
"If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old." ...