Saturday, January 24, 2015

Saturday's Saying on HOPE...

Hope begins in the dark... 
stubborn hope that if you 
just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. 
You wait and watch and work: 
you don't give up.
                                  -Anne Lamott

There's a knot in the back of my neck and shoulders,
right where I cannot reach it. It has been tightening all week long. I can feel it as I try to stretch in a way that will release it and get some relief.

Ah...relief. I just love the sound of that word.
Especially this week.

It's dark here in Spokane at this early morning hour.
I am so grateful it is Saturday and I can take a moment to breathe and let hope, again, find its way into my heart.

I'm glad that Anne Lamott, bless her quirky and brilliant soul, believes that... 
               "Hope begins in the dark." 
That saying, and repeating it what feels like ten times an hour, is what allowed me to do this week with some grace. 

Not a lot of grace mind you, just a little grace.

Some weeks are just plain hard. Some weeks my faith and hope and belief are put to the test. Some weeks leave me wondering, leave me asking questions into the darkened Spokane sky...

*Why in the world did it take ten hours to deal with a very difficult
   situation with a student, make a plan, agree to it, and then they didn't show    
   up the next day? Why?

*Why in the world did I plan for a very tough meeting for the last two
  months to have it cancelled the day of the meeting with an excuse that
  seemed unbelievable?

*Why in the world did a beloved group of students I work with not know
   that what they did hurt my feelings? Do they not know me at all?

By Friday late afternoon the questions had mounted,
the knot in my neck had tightened, and I longed
for a more simple life where everything just goes...
well, just how I would like it to go.

And I was irritated at myself that even with prayer
and breathing, I just couldn't seem to shake what felt like a cross between worry, sadness and irritation. I had let truly little things get under my skin. I know better, intellectually. Yet sometimes my emotions get the better of me.

And then the rest of Anne's saying became more clear...

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.

My hope all week had truly been "stubborn hope."
The kind of hope you cling to when you have tied
a knot at the end of your rope and are hanging on with one hand.

And the guilt that went with that hope? Look at the burdens some others are dealing with right now. Look at how little these exasperations of yours really are. "Get a grip, Linda. Get some perspective!"

And  then the last lines of Anne's marvelous saying...

"You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."

So this morning as I drink my coffee and say my prayers, I am clinging to stubborn hope...
the kind that begins in the dark. 

I am showing up with all of the faith and love and grace I can muster. 

I am trying to do the right thing, even when it isn't easy and 

I am waiting for the dawn to come

And with that dawn I am trusting and anticipating I will know a new sense of hope and encouragement and wisdom about what matters, really matters.

I will wait and watch and pray and work, and I won't give up!


Sending you some HOPE this morning along with

a heaping of love and prayers.

God Bless!

Linda



2 comments:

Peggy Sue said...

Isnt it amazing... how we have wonderul good days..and then all of a sudden we have a day were we do feel so burdened down by life...logicaly we know that we are blessed..that others are dealing with much more..but the day we are down is a struggle... you worded all this again in such a way...it makes such sense! I had such a day this past week..and was so greatful to wake up the next day...alive and positive and filled with peace again. Love to you Linda..may this weekend rejuivinate you...may you know how much you are loved!

Vicky said...

Every day life can be filled with such frustration, at times, can't it? Its hard NOT to have an "emotional" response to other humans at times, as much as we intellectually know differently. I find myself like that with my mom so often. My emotional and often what feels like a child like response to her, when my head knows better. I pray for even just a bit of grace to work itself into the situation. And that you Let Go, and Let God, when you've done all that you can from the depth of your humanity. Love to you- I so relate to your love of Anne!

"Dirt Therapy"...

                                          Planting a seed                           is believing                           in tomorrow . ...