I want to fix things, but Jesus says...
"Fix your eyes on me."
-Jennifer Duke, The Happiness Dare
There has been a long standing joke in our family that some of
us were born with a "worry gene." From time to time we have even nicknamed folks a "worrywart."
My dear Mom used to worry about what was right in front of her and often worried about what might happen down the road. Some relatives would gently say, "Dolores, don't borrow worry that isn't even here yet." She often replied that she became a first class worrier when my Dad went off for three years to Italy to fight in WWII.
The worry and "what ifs" can rob us of today's joy, of that I am sure.
It isn't always easy to live in the present and to stay focused on what is right in front of us. It isn't easy to let go of the desire to "fix things" so everything will turn out the way we think it should.
It isn't easy, but my life changes when I give things to God.
Yet I am amazed that I can in one minute pray and ask God to take this burden and then in the next second yank it back again
and try to fix it myself.
I've come to believe that I rob myself of my own happiness
when I keep trying to "fix" the whole world. This morning in my prayer time I asked God to help me change my thinking.
Old thoughts can circle and circle and unless they are replaced by a new way to look at things, I can become anxious and scared.
There has been a lot of anxious and scared this past week.
Some of my greatest life-lessons have come from my daughter, Amy. This week her endless prayer to God was "Thy will be done." Your will, Lord, not my will. She is often saying to me,
"Mom, worry isn't prayer."
I know that in my heart-of-hearts, but old habits are hard to
So how does worrying impact me? On a physical level when I worry I invite stress into my mind and heart. So worry is bad for my physical and emotional health.
Worrying also impacts my joy because I can let it rob my focus on all that I have to be grateful for. I can worry about Bert's health issues or I can just be so grateful he is here with me right now.
This past week so much has happened that has left me exhausted and worried. Today, I am working to ....
"Fix my eyes on Jesus."
I can't fix things, but He can. I am working to move worry from the front seat of the car to visually locking worry in the trunk.
It may not be completely gone, but it will only be in the driver's seat if I let it.
As fall comes to Spokane, instead of "worrying" that winter is almost here and what about all that upcoming snow, I'm going to relish the gorgeous fall leaves and hear the crunch of them as I take a walk today with my beloved husband.
I am going to take a break from worrying and stop myself and substitute new thoughts when worry tries to take over.
As my darling granddaughter said to me, "Nana, just give it to God."
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