"I have eyes for the here.
For the now, and the nearly now...
-Vicky Westra, my dear soul sis
Yesterday was a beautiful mix of life's contradictions, almost like the kind of stew my Mama used to make. Every delicious bite hand-made with love, every vegetable and ingredient well-chosen.
I'll have a dash of great joy, add a pinch of fear, relief, and concern, and serve piping hot in a gorgeous old bowl full of family history.
Just saying the word "Mama" makes me miss mine and the tears just start to flow.
I remember being in the kitchen with my Mom when she was going to make stew. My Dad and I were full of anticipation for the tastes and smells to come. Comfort, true comfort in every bite. Food made with love.
All of this comes to my mind and heart after reading a blog post from my very dear friend, Vicky Westra. If you have read this blog before, you have heard just a bit of her story. She is my soul sis, a true gift from God. She has been a teacher to me, someone who has enriched my life at every turn. There is so much goodness in Vicky, so much wisdom.
Yes, she has stage 4 breast cancer that has now progressed.
Yes, in this latest treatment her hair has fallen out, again.
Yes, she is absolutely beautiful inside and out, no matter if her hair is her own or an amazing gift from friends.
Yet what struck me most, and what I most needed to hear this week, was what Vicky said after finding out that her cancer had progressed...
"I have eyes for the here. For the now, and the nearly now...
This last week I have honestly struggled with being in the now.
I have wandered into the past and had some anxiety about the future. My beloved Bert had some medical tests this week after some pretty significant weight loss and his doctor was concerned about why this might be happening. So yesterday we spent a good part of the morning in a medical lab taking all kinds of tests. After a 14 hour fast leading into all of the pricking and poking, we were both a little dizzy.
I have wandered into "What if this happens?" "What if
that happens.." I have been in a pretty steady dialogue with God... asking for His peace, asking for His grace.
When I read Vicky's words a puzzle piece just fell into place.
An answer to prayer. He has it all, and I do mean ALL, in His Almighty hands. He knows what is in store, and He will be there in the midst of whatever comes next.
Not only was yesterday filled with a few chunks of anxiety, it was sprinkled with immeasurable JOY. Our precious granddaughter Annora Grace had her first birthday party. Bert and I could not stop smiling. Just seeing her laughing and giggling and hugging and kissing brings us such joy. Pictures to follow. :)
We were in the NOW, and we were reminded that God is with us and All Shall be Well!
"If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old." ...