Tuesday, August 20, 2019

A Hint of Autumn...

                           "Autumn shows us how
                   to let things go."

Last night I was sitting out on the old swing in our back yard, bundled up in the quilt that resides there, with Daisy our sweet doggy snuggled down in the fabric with me. It was twilight, still a bit warm, and I could feel a peace start to encompass my spirit. I said out loud... 
                     "Thy will, not my will, Lord."
Daisy startled a bit, hearing a real human voice, and looked at me with those inquiring eyes as if to say, "Can't we stay here and swing back and forth just a bit longer?" I replied with tears starting to stream down my face, "Ok girl, just a bit longer."

I surveyed the garden, still rich with plants flowering, yet the edges of weariness starting to creep up their stems.

This garden and this swing and this precious puppy dog have been my haven this summer, my safe place to go. Tears here have a place that don't invite hard questions or wonderings that I simply don't have answers to.

What I know for sure is that while I have the questions, God has the answers. He is here in this garden, this safe place that I can let down the care-taking and just take a deep breath.

Then, while holding Daisy close and stroking her fur in a rhythmic motion she always loves, I happen to look over to one
of my favorite trees in our back yard and an "Oh, no" escaped my lips.

When I looked closely, even in this dusking twilight, I could see it there, the tiny stripes of red and yellow on the once green leaves.

I knew, so I said it out loud, "Ah, there's that hint of autumn."

I also knew I wasn't ready to let go...

Not ready to let go of summer, not ready to let go of more relaxed family time, and most of all... not ready to let go of my
beloved Bert.

Just that thought moved me to tears and soon Daisy was licking the tears on my face and snuggling in close. 

Mostly she does that with Bert these days as she knows something is very wrong and he is very ill.  She snuggles in close to him, puts her chin on his hand or leg, and comforts him any way she can.

Now, she has started to do that same ritual to me. She knows that my heart is breaking and that letting go of Bert, when it's his time to go home to God, will be the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Bert loves autumn. It's his favorite season with all its colors and he has a birthday coming up on September 12th. We are so grateful for every day Bert is here. We are so grateful for all the blessings God has bestowed on us. One of the blessings is that we have a host of dear folks praying for us. My dear friend Jackie has been on her knees praying for Bert and praying for me.  I am so, so grateful for every prayer and for every day I have with Bert. 

There's a little bit of summer time left and the full glow of wondrous autumn is still on the horizon. But it will come. It is right around the corner.

Just as the leaves are transitioning, so is my beloved.

For every time there is a season and what we know for sure is that God is good all the time! He is here with us and will not forsake us. He will carry us in every season.

"They will, not my will, Lord!"

God bless!
Love, Linda

3 comments:

GrammaGrits said...

Praying every time you come to mind . . .

Miss Myia said...

I love you and Bert....Myia

Unknown said...

You are amazing Linda! I am praying for you and your beloved Bert! You have done amazing things in life and for your family. Bask in the love God gives you and He will always keep you close and give you peace! Can't wait to see you in class!

God is Good ALL the Time! The Last Six Months....

          "You will lose someone you can't live without and your               heart will be broken. The bad news is that you neve...