Saturday, October 04, 2008

LOVE LIFE: Love Today, Even When It Is Confusing!




"Here I am,
Where I ought to be."

-Louise Erdrich

This last week was wonderful and at the same time confusing. It seemed to be full of life lessons that came back for a "re-visit". My level of frustration was something I prayed about all week long. "Lord, give me patience"..."Hi! It's me again! :) ...please give me more patience." I often had a hard time rolling with the punches, some of the potholes in the road, changes in schedule, and unexpected events. I felt taken aback by some recent communication with people I care about and wondered.."What just happened here?" Why the bite in their tone with me? Was it me? Was it them?

While my "exterior, presented self" may have looked calm and collected, my "interior, real self" was in a fair amount of turmoil.

It's time to take stock of what happened this week. I literally ran all week. It's Saturday morning and I almost feel breathless.

Almost every day I got up at 3:00am to grade papers, and still couldn't get it all done quite the way I would have wanted. I ran to teaching , I ran to consulting, I just ran and ran. And while the week was full of blessings, growth and positives...there was an undercurrent of unrest and dis-ease.

I'm not sure if the floundering and sinking stock market, a "bailout" for large corporations who had poor money management, or listening to the Vice Presidential debate set the tone for the last few days. People at school reported having a somber attitude or were worried about if they would actually get to retire. Politics seemed at an all time low, and I felt if I saw another negative Dino Rossi commercial (or billboard) ...I would scream

I'm an independent voter and a political activist. I take voting very seriously. At 61 I have waited my whole life for a viable, smart, articulate female candidate, hopefully for President, but Vice President would work too. Having the current Republican candidate for Vice President be the chosen female voice is almost more than I can stand. This is someone who wanted to ban a book without reading it. This is someone who when asked about her running mate's credentials said, "I'll research that and get back to you." This is someone who, when well coached, can get through a debate, but chooses to answer only the questions she wants to answer. This is someone who, when talking off the cuff and isn't rehearsed , thinks "We might just have to go to war with Russia." This is someone who wants to continue the Iraq war until we have victory, no matter what it costs the American people. This is someone who is gutsy, true, but at the same time, in my opinion, not all that smart.

I wish my Mom, who was my role model for being a political activist, was alive so we could talk politics together and I could get her take on all of this.

I plan to vote for Senator Obama and Senator Biden, but I'd love to be voting for a smart female candidate too. They are out there and I hope their time comes during my lifetime.

When confusing and frustrating weeks happen, and like everyone else I have them, I try to get up early on a Saturday, fix myself a cup of coffee, sit in the quiet, have prayer time, and seek God's guidance. I then read my book called "Love Life!"

My quote for today is:

Here I am
Where I ought to be.

Darn it! I'm supposed to be where I am, learning these hard lessons. There is no escaping the truth. The life lessons fall as much during frustrating and confusing weeks as they do when things feel like smooth sailing...maybe even more. Every bump and pothole in the road, that jars me, is a chance to learn about flexibility, giving up control, trusting God, letting go of perfection, forgiving myself, forgiving others...the list is endless.

So for today ...I will take a deep breath, really taste this coffee, absorb the lessons, and let the week go. I will "let go and let God." I may even, on this rainy Saturday, take a nap by the fire!

And I'll trust that good week or confusing week... where I am is where I ought to be!

God Bless!
Love Linda

3 comments:

Our Family said...

I had an uneasy week too... I felt like my body was always moving from one activity to another but my mind was stuck.

I've learned, in my walk with the Lord, that we get what we ask for ( in one way or another). Sometimes when we ask for patience, we may not get the gift of patience but opportunities to practice being patient.

The true gift is that He is with us each step of the way.

Love you, thanks for sharing what is on your heart this morning.

XOXO, me

Kim said...

So comforting Momma Linda that you get confused with life too! Most things you discussed make me wonder too. And I don't have all the answers either. Not sure if that's really all that comforting.

On most levels both candiates and their running mates have disappointed me intellectually. But I'm thankful I have a choice and get the right to vote.

I want to welcome you back to school and the "race". Each day for me has literally flown by and I am in awe at where it went! But I love it too!

XO

jessithompson said...

I am sending you a hug. I love you, Mom. XOXO

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