A Hint of Spring...

         
                                                        And HOPE,
                          if it had a scent,
                         would smell like
                                     SPRING,
                                      like rain,
                            like something
                      NEW and ALIVE.
                                          -Jennifer Rush

It is not an exaggeration to say that it has been a long winter
here in Spokane. Just when the talk about town was that we
were going to escape having the horrible weather the rest of the country was enduring, bam! February hit with a record
amount of snow. 

When we had our hearts set on Spring...
the snow hit and just kept coming.

How much snow you ask? More than 4 feet of snow in our back yard. School was cancelled and that never, ever happens in Spokane. After all, we are rustic survivors here, hearty folks who can handle tough weather, unlike our neighbors on the west side of the state who almost faint at the sign of the first snowflake... or that's the tale we tell.

Well, we may be survivors, but even the most hearty wanted a break from the white "stuff."

Everyone talked about the weather...would we every see sun again? Was more snow on the way? Had anyone seen the first hints of spring?

It was safe to say we were a little desperate. We needed a reminder that even in the darkest, snowiest days, God is in charge. Even in the midst of more snow and more snow, He holds us in the palm of His Almighty hand.

All will be well, as my dear friend Vicky Westra used to remind me.

All is well...I just need to remind myself of that truth.

This has been a hard winter in other ways as well. It's hard for me to find the words to talk about it because my tears keep flooding and rolling down my face even when I let the 
thoughts cross my mind.

Bert has been ill since January. Not a little ill, really ill.
In the last three weeks, we spent one whole weekend visiting Urgent Care facilities and the next weekend we spent all of
Saturday at the Sacred Heart Hospital ER. 

Then that next Wednesday, March 6th we had an appointment with Bert's doctor and old friend. 

Dan knows Bert well as they worked together at the Adolescent Chemical Dependency Unit at Deaconess Hospital, years ago. Dan was the doctor, Bert one of the counselors who worked with the teenagers. They made a great team.

We trust "Dr. Dan" because we know he not only cares for us physically, he loves us. Especially Bert. Dan is quite a bit younger and almost looks at Bert as being a Dad figure...
the kind of Dad every kid would have loved to have.

I could see Dan's eyes when Bert came into the exam room.
Dan looked like he was going to cry, but held it together to greet both of us with his usual bravado.

He looked at Bert's records, lab reports and most importantly weight. I saw the flash of fear cross his eyes, even though Bert didn't pick up on it. He asked about the urgent care visits and the last trip to the ER.

Then he stopped in his tracks, put down Bert's chart, and started talking about snow and spring. How spring was a time of renewal and growth and HOPE.

Spring reminded us that God gave the world seasons, just like he gave us seasons in our lives. None of us, he said softly, knew when we would go home to God. And then he picked up Bert's hand and told him he loved him.

He told him how much love Bert had spread everywhere he went. He talked about the kids in the chemical dependency unit and how they flocked to Bert, knowing that he truly saw something in them that was good and holy, even though they didn't see that in themselves.

He told Bert that he was adored by his family and that every time we had an appointment Dan could see how Bert and I adored each other. We had reminded him that people could
be married "forever" and yet still look like they were on their honeymoon. 

And then he stopped, paused and said almost quietly...
"No more urgent care visits, my friend, or ER visits where
you have to wait three hours to be seen, let's bring some nursing care right to where you are at home." 

While tears had been streaming down my face during the whole visit, I felt a huge calm come over me, almost like Jesus was holding my hand just as Dan was holding Bert's.

I could feel like spring, while it might be Bert's last, was right around the corner and that God would be with us, no matter what happened next. The snow would melt, the sun would come out and help was coming with all of the medical issues we were facing.

God suddenly gave us peace about what comes next. While we don't know what that will look like, He does.

How perfect that God gave me the word Serenity for 2019! 

And just like that...the snow in Spokane started to melt, the sun came out and the temperatures started to come up...just a bit. 

There is a hint of spring and that's enough for now.

While we don't know what comes next, or what health challenges may come our way, Bert and I know that God
is here and all is well! We feel better then we have for awhile, just having nursing help when we need it. We can call and they will come. We are at peace.

April 7th we will have been married for 35 years, almost half my life. We are both so grateful that God brought us together, and we wouldn't trade a day of those 35 years. We have adored each other, and Bert is my beloved. Sharing my life with him has been such a joy and an honor. He is my very best friend and the love of my life. No human person has loved me like Bert has loved me and to share our love for God together...well, that has made ALL the difference.

We are grateful to God for every day we have had together and every day we will have together...no matter how many days that turns out to be.

Could we ask for your prayers? Please pray for peace, no matter what comes our way. May we know in our deepest heart-of-hearts that God is here and will be with us...whatever comes next.

And may you also know how much God loves you...
He is there in the darkest night and the hardest day.
He will never leave you or forsake you.
He will hold you close when you are afraid.

And if it feels like winter in your heart,
Just give your heart to Him and you, too, will feel a ...
hint of Spring!

Sending you loves, hugs and prayers-
God Bless!
Linda