LIVING FAITH as if Jesus was a "Drive-Through" God

Relationships fascinate me. They always have, and they always will. I stand back and realize how easy it is to take relationships for granted, misuse them (if only unintentionally), and think everything is "fine", when in fact it is not.

Relationships are a joy, the fabric of my life, and what makes me get up every morning and think, "Well, today will be interesting and never boring." :)

I am a student of relationships, my own and others. I look at relationships at home and at work trying to understand how I need to make relationships better. I am always on the look out for what it takes to make a relationship healthy, growing, and meaningful. What kind of open heart and communication is called for? What kind of time commitment makes a difference? While I may miss the mark, I am always trying to improve the relationships that matter to me.

One question that has surfaced a lot this summer is...

Does this person I truly care about REALLY know that their relationship with me is a high priority in my life? Does Bert know? Does Amy know? Does Jessi know? Do my grandchildren know? Do other family members know? Do my friends know?

How about my relationship with God? Does God know?

In a recent sermon at our church our Pastor challenged us to look at our relationship with God, with Jesus, and see how our behavior met the qualities of a healthy relationship here on earth.

He asked:

Do you regularly talk to God and thank Him for all of the blessings He has given you?

...Or do you only come to God when you want something and you want it "soon please".

Or maybe we often even leave off the please.

Do you talk to God every day or only in a crisis?

..."Please God, (even though I haven't talked to you for five years or even really had a relationship with you)..."please save my child (my job, my marriage, my life)."

Our pastor asked us to consider what would happen to our earthly relationships if we treated them like we often treat God. Yikes!

Pastor Lonnie then gave, what was for me, the ultimate analogy.

"Do you see Jesus as a drive-through God?"

You drive up, give your order of what you want, and expect Jesus to be at the window fulfilling what you want, when you want it, and how your want it. Your "prayers" consist of telling God HOW to do His job and WHEN to do it.

"I'll have ketchup and mustard, but no onions please, Jesus."

"I'd like a better job, better marriage, and all my ducks in a row...and could I please have that NOW. Oh, and by the way, thanks for the great day and all my blessings. Sorry I haven't been to church, worshiped you, or read your Word in the Bible."

Our Pastor then asked, "Are you living your faith as if Jesus was a drive-through?"

I could barely breathe at this point in the sermon.

Oops! I hesitated to look around to see if Lonnie Mitchell was talking to everyone or just me.

Am I really that arrogant with God? If I asked God for the highs and lows in our relationship what would He say? Would He feel like a real priority in my life or just a side dish ordered at Taco Bell?

I felt my knees go weak.

How does He feel when I tell Him what to do, how to do it, and when it needs to be done?

More importantly...Am I really talking to the creator of the universe, the Almighty God, the Alpha and Omega, the Giver of all life and blessings as if He was an employee at a drive-through restaurant?

I felt like I was going to throw up.

This summer, following this sermon, I have been re-reminded that my prayer life needs some revision, my time in the Bible needs some revision, my attitude about going to church and fellowship with other Christians needs some revision, and my overall relationship with God needs some time, love, energy, communication and revision.

I do NOT want to live my faith as if Jesus was a "Drive Through."

Your thoughts?

God Bless!

Love, Linda

The Double Standard of the "HONEY-DO" List

I love teaching. One of the MANY reasons I love teaching adult students is how much I learn from them. One of those "AHA!" moments came in my Gender Communication class this last quarter.

We were having a "fishbowl" exercise where a group of women became part of an inner circle for discussion. As part of that group, we sat on the floor in the center of the room while other students sat around us listening and taking notes. The goal of the women's discussion was to offer "tips" to the men in the class about communication, attitude, and behaviors that might improve their relationships with important women in their lives. 

We also had a "fishbowl" where the men got to talk and the women listened and took notes. The men's fishbowl went first. To be fair, the men displayed much better manners as listeners in the fishbowl exercises. They not only listened respectfully, they asked amazing and thought-provoking questions.

In the women's fishbowl one gal talked about how everything is better when men really help at home. She inferred, and we might have an "Amen, Sister!" from any women reading this blog, that men don't really do their fair share at home. Women work at outside jobs, just like their husbands, but they are then expected to do the majority of kid care and household care. All the women in the group agreed that men helping more with the household chores and children would make women in general a much happier group of people.

After the fishbowl was over, and the men could ask questions, one well-respected and older male student asked if he might participate in the conversation. This was someone who dearly loves his wife and had been sharing all of his class information on improving gender communication with her. Everyone in the room really liked him.

Quite simply, and sincerely, John asked,"I've always wondered about the double standard of the "honey-do" list. Could you ladies help me with my confusion?" He went on to explain that he always helped his wife around the house. He felt that was part of being a good husband. Yet he also had his own list of things to accomplish. While his list might not be written down, he had one. 

What puzzled him, he said respectfully, was why women always seemed to feel that they could give a guy another list of their priorities to do, the ever famous "Honey-Do List!" and expected men to re-prioritize and get the new list done ASAP. What, he asked, would happen if men started to give women those kinds of lists? 

He went on to ask how many of us gave our husbands a "Honey-Do List!" We all raised our hands. He then asked how many of our husbands gave us regular "Honey-Do Lists"? No hands went up. "Is that a double standard?", he asked.

Our mouths dropped open.

We were speechless.

It had never occurred to me that the famous "Honey-Do list" was one-sided and a double standard. The "Honey-Do List" was a cultural phenomenon, passed from generation of women to the next generation of women. It was a cry for help from busy women, desperate to have their spouses help them out at home. But was it a double standard? Would I be shocked to have Bert write a "Honey-Do List" for me? Food for thought!

Yup, I love teaching!

I love learning new things!

Thanks John!

What do YOU think about the famous "Honey Do Lists"??? Is it a double standard?

God Bless!

Love Linda

 

She Is One Tough Cookie and A Warrior Against Cancer!

In this culture the word "hero" gets tossed around rather loosely at times. Or at least that's my opinion. A celebrity is designated to be a "hero" because they donate to a cause. An athlete is a "hero" because they do something extraordinary. Now please don't think I am diminishing those accomplishments. I'm not. 

But to me a true hero is someone whose selflessness and courage are such a bright shining star for others that you are almost blinded by their faith, perseverance and tenacity... and they do this day-after-day, week-after-week, month-after-month, and year-after-year...against

great odds. Their attitude, in the face of extreme adversity, makes you sit up and say, "So that's what real character looks like!" When faced with all the tough things life can throw at you, they hold on to God with both hands and show you what faith really looks like. 

Eileen Thompson is this kind of hero to me.

I've known Eileen for many years, and I have seen her battle cancer twice. Once, fourteen years ago...and now, unexpectedly, fourteen years later.  What is so amazing and heroic about Eileen is how she handles all of the tough things in life. She turns to Jesus and holds on to Him. She handles the most difficult adversity with grace, or as she says,... "I am still here by the grace of God. I can do this by God's grace." And I believe her! 

*Bring on the chemo-she handles it with grace. 

*Lose your hair- she handles it with grace. 

*Legs swell up so your ankles don't bend- she handles it with grace. 

*Because of the cancer drugs you no longer have feeling in your hand-she handles it with grace. 

*Have an open wound after cancer surgery-she handles it with grace.

*Raise your granddaughter in the midst of it all- she handles it with love and grace.

I'm not always sure how God works, or what makes Him smile, but I can't help but imagine that when Jesus sees how Eileen perseveres and follows Him, He must smile.

Eileen would never call herself a hero. She might even be embarrassed that I wrote this about her. That humbleness is partly what makes her accomplishments so extraordinary to me. 

She is one tough cookie, and I am proud to call this cancer warrior my friend and soul sister!

God Bless!

Love Linda

PS. Check the song in the previous post... "Let The Waters Rise!" It reminds me of Eileen!

To my soul sis, Eileen- this song reminds me of you! Love Linda

Thoughts As I Head To Cannon Beach!

OK...this is even hard for me to believe! I changed the template on my blog all by myself. :)

A good sign as I head off for a week of respite, fun, nourishment, and time with a dear friend.

This week has been beyond chaotic, and I have been challenged to again and again turn EVERYTHING over to God! And while there have been challenges, my heart is FULL of gratitude for all of the blessings that are overflowing. It's all about how you frame it! Here are a few of this week's events in no particular order.

Yesterday was a magical marker kind of day. Thirty three years ago, on June 24th, Jessi was born. Talk about nostalgia...it seems like yesterday. So many memories flooded in yesterday about her birth and the deep sense of wonder about carrying a life and seeing her born. What a gift it is, an honor, to be part of helping to grow someone. Jessi from day one has always been a "go-getter", a take-it-on kind of gal. Back then she rode her big wheel in the dirt with her party dress on. Today she is a triathlete and still ridin' in style. As I've watched her become a wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, athlete...and more...I have been amazed at God's gift to me and to those around her. I love you Jess Jess! I always have and I always will! Happy 33rd birthday sweetie! I can't wait to celebrate with you when I am back! 

Not only was this week marked by Jessi's birthday, the unexpected event of Jacob's emergency appendix removal left us all shaken. One minute Jacob is running around and having a great day, and the next day he is in lots of pain and having trouble walking. That evening we are all gathered at Children's Hospital at Sacred Heart in the waiting room... waiting for a surgeon to let us know Jacob is OK. My heart was in my throat. Between tears I just keep praying..."Please God, let him be good as new".  And God kept that promise. While Jacob is still in the hospital recovering, he WILL make a full recovery. What a great relief! I love you Jacob and I am so, so glad that you are getting better!

Besides Jessi's birthday and Jacob's surgery, a major event this week was SCC's graduation on Monday and getting my grades in. I also came back on Tuesday and Wednesday to start to get ready for next year. What a great year of teaching at SCC and how amazing and blessed I feel to get to teach with Amy! Her presence at SCC has been a gift to her students and also a gift to me! I love watching her teach! Thanks for a great year Aim! I can't wait to do it all again next year! It has also been a gift to my heart to see the kind of Mama she is as she has ministered to Jacob during this time.

And not to be left out, two of the unsung heroes of this week have been Ryan and Bert. Ryan, I have loved watching you minister to your family as you have given and given and put them first.

Not only did you finish a clean up at your old house so the new buyers could move in early, and you did it at 3:30 in the morning after Jacob's surgery, you have shown love and leadership at every turn. I am so grateful that you were there to remind us that God was taking care of it all! Love you!

And to my dear Boppa...who also helped to hold down the fort...I am so grateful for you every day! Your deep love for us shines through all the time, but especially in moments when things seem scary. You are my rock! Love you so much!

What a week! And now it's time to move my clothes for the trip from the washer to the dryer.

It's time to breathe and get revitalized. It's time to hear the ocean, read books, laugh myself silly...and just have fun!

Life is good, and I am grateful! Loves and hugs as I head off.

God Bless!

Love Linda

Time For A Change!

I can feel it in the air. I can feel it in my bones. I can feel it in my emerging smile. I am wistfully waiting for school to end. Closing the book on another year of teaching. What an intense year it has been...but that is for another post.

What I'm struck by this morning is my desire to extend my cuppa, cuppa coffee time, plant some new and less drenched plants in my planters, get the house super clean and organized , do all the laundry, clean my car and get on with the simple pleasures in my life that take care of me.

I need to catch up with some special folks and have quality time, time that is measured in luxurious hours, not clock-watching minutes.

But most of all... I need to catch up with me!

I.need.some.order.

I.need.a.change.in.focus. 

I am grateful for an extended break where I am able to re-find myself...and not the one who grades papers, chairs committees, and does marketing for my department at SCC. That super-productive, always-in-top-gear girl needs to be put on the back burner until late next September.

Where oh where did the whimsical, artistic, book reading part of me fly off to? I'm not sure, but I know I'll find her!

The sun may come out

Or it may choose not to

It doesn't matter.

Rain or shine, I feel a smile coming on!

It's time for a change.

God Bless!

Love Linda

GOD IS GOOD!...even when life isn't..the story of Zac Smith

Please view this:

The Story of Zac Smith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

It's a simple equation, almost a mathematical certainty. Life has ups and downs. There are times when life putts along and all seems fine. And there are times when, in a moment's notice, life turns on a dime.

And.everything.changes.

I'm not sure if I am more aware of this phenomenon as I age, or if it has always been this way and I just didn't notice.

But I am noticing now.

More and more I see how precious life is. More and more I see how precious my marriage is. More and more I see how precious my grandchildren are, my adult children are, their spouses are, my students are, my friends are, my co-workers are. The list goes on and on.

There's a song in church that has a chorus:
"You give and take away
You give and take away
And still my heart will say
Lord, blessed be your name."

On most days, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God loves me, has my back, and is in charge. I know, deep in my soul, that having a daily walk with God, praising His glory, and not just "talking" about God when it is convenient...is at the core of all that I am.

I truly believe that for many of us (me included) when crisis hits, a child is diagnosed with cancer or a marriage falls apart, the prayers flow. "Oh God", we find ourselves praying,"please don't let this happen." Until that moment we (I) have had God on the back burner. Now, we need something, so we turn to God.

I have to wonder how that must feel to God. He's a God of convenience for so many of us.

Every day I turn to God, talk to God, walk with God...but is God at the heart of all that I am and do...not so, sadly.

This has been a season in my life that is marked by enormous changes. Lost friends. Surgeries for loved ones. My own unexpected eye surgery this week. Changes in relationships. Disappointments. Victories. Confusion.

And then I stumble on to the story of Zac Smith. Stumble is the wrong word. It wasn't an accident or coincidence. God led me there. It's not an easy video for me to see. But it's a reminder. An important reminder. God is good, even when life isn't. Even when it doesn't turn out the way I want it to, or my prayers seem unanswered, God's plan is greater than my own.

Zac Smith died last Sunday. But I am so grateful that his faith touched me this morning and reminded me that no matter what...God is good!

God Bless! Love Linda

THE LEGACY OF AN AMAZING MOTHER!

Today is Mother's Day and like so many Mother's Days in the past few years, I woke up really teary. At once I feel so blessed that I can hardly breathe, and at the same time I feel so sad that my tears don't seem to stop flowing. The phrase, "You don't know what you had until it's gone"

resonates through my mind. It's Mother's Day, and my Mom isn't here to celebrate it with her.

Let me talk about "feeling blessed" first. Dolores McColm was an AMAZING Mom to me. Everything I know about being a good Mom I learned from her. I have endless stories...truly endless stories...of how she was constantly there for me. In a collage of my life, she is the glue that held everything together. I never once felt that she didn't love me. Not once.  

That "so sad my tears don't stop flowing" part has to do with her death and the gut-wretching, profound loss that it has been in my life. I miss everything about her, even the things that used to irritate me. I miss her phone calls, her advice, her wise counsel, her news clippings she sent me. I miss someone having my back as only my Mom did. I miss talking to her about the girls.

I miss her cooking and how pretty she looked when she was dressed up. I miss the chance to tell her that I love her.

The last few years of my Mom's life she was really ill. She was dying from smoking and on oxygen 100% of the time. She wouldn't move to Spokane, so every other weekend for two and a half years I went to Seattle to have time with her and coordinate her health care. The roles were reversed. Finally, I had a chance to give back. Some people talked about how that must have been such a huge sacrifice on my part. All I could say was that I could NEVER, EVER repay her for all she had done for me. NEVER. EVER.

My Mom wasn't perfect. No Mom is. It's easy to see Moms as too bossy or too involved. Why is she always so pushy or trying to tell you what to do? It's easy to see what's wrong about your Mom and forget the sacrifices she made to get you where you are. It's easy to forget all the driving she did to get you to activities and all the thousands of meals she made that you ate without thinking. It's easy to see her imperfections and forget the nights she was up checking your temperature when you were ill or held you while you cried because some boy broke your heart. 

You can only begin to get her sacrifices and deep and abiding love...once you become a Mom yourself. And then we are often so busy we aren't really all that grateful for the legacy our Moms left us.

But if you were or are blessed to have a "good enough Mom", there's one thing I know for sure.

You will get what she did, and who she really is to you, once she is gone. You will miss her with every cell in your body and like me this morning, you would give anything to call her and wish her a "Happy Mother's Day!"

So here's to you Mom! I will love you forever, I will like you for always and as long as I'm living your baby I'll be! (from the book "I'll love you forever")

God Bless!

Love Linda 

Life Takes An Unexpected Twist and Turn...telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth!!

Yesterday I was at the funeral of a very dear friend of ours, John Brennan. John has been a dear friend of Bert's for over twenty years. They were in a men's running group together, had lunch together and shared their lives at a deep level on a regular basis.

Simply put, we are all astounded that John is gone. How can that be? He had a backache and side ache, felt like he had the flu, ended up in a coma, had an operation and they found him full of cancer, and poof...one month later he is gone.

John's memorial yesterday was truly unique. The Unitarian Church was packed, a sea of people from my "old life" with Tim and my early life with Bert...Jim and Sue Shaw, Kent Hoffman, Deanna and Don Roberts, Gail and John Goeller...the list goes on and on.

There were so many stories told about John and the most amazing service filled with bands, slideshows, a potluck, so many friends gathered. John would have loved this party. But he wouldn't have expected so many people to come.

I learned alot about our friend John yesterday. As Jim Laudermilk and Kent Hoffman said, John had asked them to tell the truth about his life, celebrate all he was and wasn't, to share his struggles. One of those struggles hit everyone hard.

While John loved other people deeply, he wasn't really so sure that people really loved him back. Maybe we are all a little like this.

As we told stories about John, and many of us did in front of that packed crowd, one story stood out that Steve Heeps told. He had stopped to see John at the hospital and told him that his friends missed him. John rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah sure, all two of them." While John was often sarcastic, Steve said he knew at that moment that John didn't "get" how much he mattered.

That's been a theme of life lately. How is it, I have to ask myself, that we are all so HUNGRY to matter to someone and so often feel that person's absolute indifference. We long to love and be loved in return, but we are rebuffed and turned away. In my opinion, it's usually not because of who we are, but because of the hole in that person's heart. But it hurts deeply, at the core of our being, to love someone who doesn't love us back.

As I have gotten older, I am no longer afraid to tell people who I am or to tell them that they matter to me. I told many folks at that service yesterday that I loved them.

Likewise, I have much better boundaries with those who don't truly care about me or those who can barely tolerate me. Life is much too short to waste more time trying to get someone to care. I value my life and time. I am blessed to be alive and loving the life God gave me. And that's a bit of the story I told in front of that crowd yesterday.

I walked up to that podium knowing that the story I was about to tell might shock some of the people in that room. One of the "family secrets", so to speak. But God knows it all anyway, my family knows the story, my students know the story, and I wanted Rachael, Michael, and Sarah, John's kids, to hear my story.

I started by saying that there had been so many warm and funny stories about John that were being told at the podium, and while I had many of those as well, I wanted to share about a difficult conversation John and I had, years ago. I told Rachael, Michael and Sarah that this story was for them and I looked only at them as I told the story

I told them that I was one of the people whose life was saved by their dad.

I talked about the time in my life when I was first married to Bert, yet where I was in so much pain and anger from my divorce from Tim that I began to drink heavily. My Dad was an alcoholic, but I had never been much of a drinker before that so I didn't imagine I could be.

One day, in one of those amazing twist and turns that life brings you, I heard a knock on my door and it was John Brennan. I assumed he was there to see Bert, who wasn't there. John shared that in fact he had come to see me.

He had watched my decline, hurt, and choices to dull the pain. John knew that I was a mess, and he told me so. While I had heard the same message from Bert, suddenly I listened with new ears. John said there was help out there for me if I would stop drinking and take it.

He then asked me a question that changed my life. He asked me what Jessi and Amy would think of me ten years from now if I kept this up?

My whole life changed in that moment. I am now 22 years clean and sober because a friend told me the hard truth about who I really was, not who I pretended to be. And as I looked at Rachael, Michael and Sarah, as I told this story yesterday in that huge service in front of all those people, my whole life changed again.

I told them that Bert thanked their Dad for saving my life, Jessi and Amy thanked their Dad for giving them a sober Mom, even my ex-husband Tim thanked their Dad, my twelve grandchildren thanked their Dad, and the thousands upon thousands of students I have had at SCC thanked their Dad for having a teacher who was sober and could really love them.

As I stepped down from that podium, in front of that packed crowd, I had told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I didn't cover things up, or keep the secret to make me look good. The pretenses were dropped. I had prayed before I spoke and felt God's "Go for it kid! It's time!"

Someone once said,,"The truth will set you free!" John's telling me the truth saved my life. My telling my truth yesterday, with no shame and only feeling grateful, set me free.

God Bless!

Love Linda

Gratitude and Blessings!

Ahhhhhhh! I LOVE spring break! Truth be told, I love any break from teaching. I work so, so hard, put in countless hours, literally burn the midnight oil, grade what feels like (and might actually be) a thousand papers, get my grades in, prepare for the next quarter...and then I get to "pause and regroup."

It's one of the many things I LOVE about being a teacher.

That "pause and regroup" comes with a huge sense of relief. Suddenly, I can take a moment to have an extra cup of coffee, kiss my darling hubby longer and hold him tighter, smile more often, and make time for the little things it is easy to take for granted.

This spring break started with an amazing trip to Seattle to see my dear friend Sharon. We laughed like silly school girls, buzzed around in her cute red convertible and just had a blast. This trip we had a late celebration for my February birthday, and Sharon treated me with such kindness and generosity that my heart overflowed with gratitude. Besides great girlfriend time, I could see sunny Seattle in all her glory with daffodils and cherry trees in full bloom. I couldn't stop smiling. I felt grateful for my friend Sharon and grateful to God for every flower and ray of sunshine.

I came back to Spokane and found some of those nearest and dearest to me with major health issues: one of Bert's best friends in a comma with heart failure, Nancy with an emergency appendix operation, Eileen with cancer back, an operation, and chemotherapy, Rog Sr. with a serious operation...the list goes on and on. I kept praying and visiting the hospital and got to know the second and fifth floors of Sacred Heart all too well.

As my dear Mom used to say, "Getting older isn't for sissies!"

Yet in all of it, I saw God's grace and love at work. I saw anew how much all of these people have blessed my life. I felt grateful to be able to sit next to them at the hospital, hold their hand, and just watch March Madness on television. One lesson played out over and over again...It's just plain easy to take people for granted. This time of visiting the hospital was a much needed reminder that we can all be gone in an instant, and we need to let others know how much they mean to us.

I need to remember that lesson on a daily basis.

So as Easter approaches, and I am aware of God's great gift in the death and resurrection of Jesus, I am again filled with so much gratitude. I am reminded again that I am loved, just as I am, that I am forgiven, and that I have a new life because of God's gift to me. What a blessing to know this kind of love.

Today, I am just so grateful...for it all!

God Bless!

Have a blessed Easter!

Love Linda

If I'd Only Known...

I was headed back this morning from my usual trip to Safeway at 5:20 am. I went to the Starbucks there to get an espresso- a vente, iced mocha, single shot, skinny milk, and light on the chocolate.

After sipping on my morning pick-me-up, I got back in my car and drove on 27th, the street behind Safeway, right past Staneks Florists.  I looked up and saw a sign, the kind where you put the letters up on a long stick. The sign read "Get your Valentine flowers here."

I always check those messages on the reader boards. The teacher in me looks for spelling and grammatical errors. As I saw the sign at Staneks I thought to myself...  Well, they need to change that sign. It's past Valentines Day.  Maybe, I thought to myself,  they should have it read..."when was the last time you sent flowers to your mother?" 

The thought was floating through my mind, when all of a sudden it hit me. It hit me like a ton of bricks, almost as if someone had sucker punched me in the stomach....It's February 19th,  my Mom's birthday. It hit me so hard that I had to pull the car over to the side of the road, and I just couldn't stop crying. I wished I could send my Mom flowers. How many years had it been since she passed away?

I finally pulled myself together and started the ride to school. All the way there I composed a letter in my head to my Mom. It went something like this...

Mom,

I miss you! Happy Birthday! I didn't forget.

If I'd only known how much I would miss you, I would have been even more appreciative of every moment I had with you.

If I'd only known how much I'd miss the sound of your voice on the phone, I  would have called you more often.

If I'd only known how much your  advice and wise counsel would mean today, I would have listened more to what you had to say then.

If I'd only known how much I would love to have you here to spend a day with,  I would have taken even more time with you to have lunch or just talk.

If I'd only known what it was like when you were gone, I would never let any small irritation about you get to me. At times I felt irritated at you, for the most stupid things. 

If I'd only known what it was like to miss you, I'd have told you over and over and over and over again how much you mean to me.

If I'd only known how it hurts every day to have you gone, I would have taken more care so that you never felt I took you for granted.

If I'd only known that there are no perfect Moms, I certainly am not one, I would have seen that you were about as perfect as any Mom could ever be. You loved me deeply then, and I can still feel that love in my heart now.

If I'd only known that many of the things I was so "busy" with really weren't life-shattering events, I would have seen how much my paying more attention to you would have meant the world to you.  

If I'd only known...

I miss you Mom. I miss you every day. I will miss you until I take my last breath on this planet. 

I am largely who I am because you were there for me in the most important years of my life. You came to everything I did when I was little. You had my back. You loved me just as I was. You carpooled me everywhere. You knew my teacher's names. You believed in me, so I began to believe in myself. You listened to the tiny details that no one else really wanted to hear. You were a gift from God to me.

I love you Mom!

Happy Birthday!

Love Punk...your very own daughter!

Some Lessons From My Precious Grandchildren!

I remember well when my Dad got a license plate holder that had a saying on it. He had a Cadillac and was a no frills guy, so some car decor was a surprise.

The license plate holder simply said, "I am a proud Grandpa!"

Jessi and Amy literally melted his heart. He adored them. He turned into mush when they were around. They had him wrapped around their little fingers. This big, huge mountain-of-a-man was literally smitten with those two darling daughters of mine. He used to say, "I am learning about life all over again through their eyes."

Well Dad, first of all, I miss you every day. Second of all, now I get exactly what you meant. Me too! I am smitten. MY grandbabies have melted my heart. I am learning some of life's most precious "lessons" through their eyes!

Side Note: So no one feels left out, this post will only cover several of my precious grandbabies and I'll cover some of the others in future posts. :)

Let's start with...a drum roll please:

EMMA SEPPA THOMPSON-

Ah, Emma! Last night Bert and I were downtown for dinner and a movie. We chose to eat at the Nordstrom Cafe. As we entered Nordstoms I began to chuckle. Bert asked me what was so funny. I recounted a recent shopping trip Emma and I took downtown and our walk through Nordstoms where she wore the most amazing fedora-like hat with a black sequined band. She had on a neck scarf, skinny jeans, and a grin from here to Alaska. THAT GIRL HAS HER OWN UNIQUE STYLE! She could have been right out of a fashion magazine!

I can't tell you how many Nordstrom salespeople stopped Emma and said, with some reverence, "Wow, niiiiiccceee Hat! I LOVE it! You look great!" Emma would just grin, say "thanks" (as she has impeccable manners), and she literally swaggered through the store with such fun and self-confidence that she left a trail of grins in her path. I giggle every time I re-live that memory!

Emma and I did a MAJOR shopping trip together at Christmas time where she picked out presents for her parents and Boppa. Every present she picked out had her own unique sense of taste, fashion sense, and color. Emma likes to refer to me as "My best shopping girl!" and I stand in amazement at her sense of style. After all, though it's hard to remember, SHE IS SIX AND A HALF YEARS OLD. YIKES!

Yet Emma is more than just someone with style. She lives life "all out" and pushes the envelope in everything she does. As I watch her swim or run, go to some of her kids triathlons, and hear about her snow skiing adventures, I am in awe of her guts, determination and love for life! Thanks for the great reminders, Emma, about really loving life and living it to the fullest! You are MY best shopping girl too! I love you to the moon and back!

LESSONS LEARNED FROM EMMA:
Be a "go-getter" in everything you do! Give it all (shopping, swimming, running...) 110% effort! And while you are at it, for heavens sake, have your OWN style, a style that makes you happy to look in the mirror, makes you whistle while you walk, gives a little bounce to your step! Live life and be all you can be!

Drum roll please...

JACOB PAUL HONEYCUTT-

Ah, Jacob! It is so hard to believe that you are eight years old. Where has the time gone? You hold such a special place in my heart, and in your Boppa's too. I remember so well having you at the dinner table, years ago, and we were talking about God and someone who didn't believe in Him. Very dramatically you fell to the floor, legs up, and declared dramatically, "WHO couldn't believe in GOD!!??"..rolled your eyes, and pretended to be dead!

From the time you were little you have reminded me that God loves me. You have reminded me to pray at meals. You have reminded me that kindness to others trumps every other human act. Just recently, when you were over at our house, you knew that Jenna would like to play the harmonica. You looked all over, found the harmonica, and without blowing it once yourself (with the kindest look on your face) you gave the harmonica directly to her. But what all of us who watched this act of kindness knew was...YOU love to play that harmonica. But you set that aside to be selfless with your sister! Your Mama also told us the story of when you were at one of Papa's basketball games, and he was sweating and asked for a towel, and you took the t-shirt off your back and gave it to Papa to use since no towel was around. All I can say is "WOW!"

Your heart-of-gold and feelings on your sleeve approach to life, your loyalty to those you love and sense of protection for your Mama...well, you inspire me! Thanks for the important reminders sweetie! I love you to the moon and back!

LESSONS LEARNED FROM JACOB:
Remember to be grateful to God for everything! Remember that He created you. Live your life with the Lord in the center.
Cherish those you love that you call your family! See the best in them as they might be gone tomorrow. Forgive them, stick up for them! And be kind and unselfish. Don't be afraid to be humble. Give away the things you love most and you will be truly blessed.


Drum roll please...

JENNA MARIE FARRELL-

Ah, Jenna! Just thinking of you makes me grin from ear to ear. You are such a hoot! Your crazy hair, love for life, super grin, love for "My skool!"...it all just cracks me up! You are the miracle baby, the baby God gave to your Mama and Papa. You are the sweet daughter your Mama had longed for. Yup, you are an answer to a thousand prayers.

Yet little did I know that God also sent you to our family to help heal my heart! Time with you has been a balm and healer to my soul. Your hugs and unconditional love have brought back my smile. Every time you put a hand on your hip and announced, "You stay, I go!" I broke into giggles. Seeing you drag around your Dora "back pack" filled with your treasures, watching Dora with you, seeing you color pictures, hearing you clap and yell for Emma as you watched her at a race...it all makes me smile. You are so loyal and possessive of those you love... your love for YOUR family, YOUR Momma, YOUR Daddy, YOUR Pooky, YOUR Boppy, YOUR Sissy, YOUR Zacky Poo...you claim us all with such zigor and assurance!

Thanks sweetie for reminding me that I am dearly loved and claimed by you as YOUR Nana! I love you to the moon and back!

LESSONS LEARNED FROM JENNA:
Just be yourself! Have fun! Remember to laugh! Give great hugs and snuggles to those who are sad. Be dramatic, it won't kill you or those around you. Make them laugh by being silly. And most of all...claim those you love! They are YOUR sweeties, YOUR loved ones. Let them know it too!

In short, I am so blessed to have these precious grandbabies in my life! My Dad was soooo right! I am learning about life all over again through their eyes!

God Bless!
Love Linda

A Look Back on 2009..Some Tough Questions and Some New Resolve.

*Disclaimer- A Word of Warning: This post is not easy to write and perhaps not easy to read. Only proceed ahead if you have the courage to know more about me.

Recently Bert and I sat down to review 2009. I love how, in some cultures, they name a year..."The Year of the Boar", or "The Year of the Pig."

2009 was the year I had dubbed as "The Year of the Flood." I used that term, not so affectionately, since 2009 started with a major flood from our third floor deck that took from January 2009 until late September 2009 to remedy.

Yet "the flood", in my mind, was both literal and figurative. 2009 felt like a year that required a HUGE, HUGE effort on almost every front. While I could pull out some wonderful moments in my memory for '09, and each of those is a blessing I hold dear, the overwhelming sense of "struggle" that was 2009 left me feeling drained and sad. I must have said a thousand times, "God won't give me more than I can handle", but by the end of 2009 my words seemed somewhat hollow.

A good friend asked me a question during all of this. A question of sorts, but more of a statement. She said, "I look at you Christians and kind of laugh. Aren't you caught between a rock and a hard spot? If you screw up and are human, we see you as hypocrites (not living up to your faith), but if things go really well and as you say "prayers are answered", we also are skeptical.
Some of you (and she was kind enough to qualify not me) think you are so perfect. Life is easy for you since you can give God the glory or just say this wasn't in His plans. Which is it?"

Now to some folks, this kind of a question might seem disrespectful to my Faith, yet with my best friends, those I am most comfortable with, we can put huge differences out on the table. We can ask the hard questions and talk about them respectfully.

I answered this complex inquiry in this way:
* Life is NOT easy being a Christian. In fact, the Bible tells me that my life will be harder.
* I am trying, with God's help, to do what He would have me do in situations. I am ANYTHING but perfect. But what I know is that God forgives me, even if some people can't. He holds a high standard for my life and He is ultimately the One I have to be accountable to for all that I do.

I talked to God alot during 2009. Like Ann Lamot says. "He can take whatever questions or rantings you need to give Him."
When my heart felt broken in 2009, broken like it would never come back together again, I turned to Him.
I asked Him how I could have tried so hard to do the right thing and ended up in this place?

Bert has walked with me through all of the hills and valleys of this challenging year. He has listened endlessly as I have cried, sobbed, and questioned. He has been my Hero!

And as we sat down and reviewed this chaotic year, the "Year of the Flood", he said this to me, in his own wise, wonderful and quiet fashion...

"It's really a choice," he said. "You did the best you could, every day. You tried to be loving and honest, and you tackled some huge and very tough challenges, turning to God with every decision."

And then he said "the clincher", the words that helped put 2009 into perspective for me...

"This year made you STRONGER. Easy years don't, but tough years build your character!. I'm proud of you, Honey, that you hung in there to do what you thought was right"

WOW!

So, TAKE THAT... 2009! I built more character, because of you! I am stronger, because of you! I am closer to God, because of you! I know who my true friends are, because of you! I look forward to 2010, taking all the lessons you taught me!

I AM STILL STANDING, in spite of you! And for that...I praise God!

No matter what happens in 2010...easy or hard, challenged or bombarded...I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.

And she found her soul saying a hearty "AMEN, to that sister!"

God Bless!
Love Linda

**PS. When I finished reading this blog entry to Bert, and turned around in our living room to look out the window, we saw a HUGE, triple rainbow...bright and shining, a full rainbow... or as Bert said, "A big ass rainbow!"
Looks to me like God heard me and He's smiling... :)

Emily Concert

At Our Home...We Are All About the Christmas Spirit!

Ever since I was a little girl I have loved and adored Christmas. I love celebrating the birthday and gift of Jesus! I love the colored lights outdoors and driving around at night, sipping hot chocolate, and going "Ooooh" and "Ahhhh" over amazing landscapes of outdoor Christmas scenes. I love recounting old Christmas stories from when I was little and making new Christmas memories with those I love. I love all of the shopping and decorating...I LOVE it all and look forward to it all year long.

Here are a few of the the sights, smells, and activities that are blessing us this Christmas:

1) Going to the The Lion King Musical With Emma!

What a great way to start the holiday season! Some years back Bert and I took Jessi and Amy and their families to the Lion King musical in Spokane. We absolutely LOVED the fabulous story, all of the music, the realistic sets and the most amazing costumes ever! The huge (and I do mean huge) animals parade through the theatre and are almost in your lap. Emma was so little at the time we went that she didn't go with us as we thought she might be frightened. So when the Lion King came back to town, Bert and I invited Emma for a solo lunch and musical event. It is so great to have one-on-one time with our grandchildren (and it's not easy to do since we have 12 of them). We loved every minute with Emma and will always remember her amazed face during the opening number!

Thanks Emma for sharing this fun Christmas "date" with Boppa and with me!

2) Decorating Our Home For The Holidays!

At Christmas time I love taking special care with creating little scenes or vinyettes in our home. I change what we do every year, and it's a chance for me to do some of the decorating and design that pleases my heart! This year, instead of the usual red and green theme, we went with more neutrals and "subtle scapes" with creams, tans, golds, silvers and bronzes. We even used sea shells we have collected in Hawaii! While our home doesn't "scream" Christmas (as it often does :)) it has been soothing to my heart to try this new gentle reminder of the holidays!

Here are a few of Christmas scenes at our home:

3) Special Books For The Christmas Season!

For us, Christmas is all about opening our hearts and appreciating God's gift in Jesus!

I am always an avid reader and once my grades are in at the college you may find me next to the fireplace, coffee mug in hand, reading some old and new "favoritos"! Here are several that came to me from special friends in my life":

*have a little faith- by Mitch Albom, the amazing author of Tuesdays With Morrie!

This inspiring true story details the author's eight year journey between two world's of faith- Christian and Jewish, rich and poor, white and African- American and two men... the author's rabbi and an inner city poor African-American pastor. A perfect Christmas read.

My book review: WOW! *****

*Advent and Christmas-Wisdom From Henri J.M. Nouwen , one of my all-time favorite writers of faith.

This powerful little book has daily lessons and devotionals for Advent and the Christmas season that really open your heart to the real meaning of Christmas. A very humbling and introspective read about what it really means to follow Jesus when you are a flawed human being like I am.

My book review: Double WOW! *****

Thank you Ashley Ulmer, consulting client and friend, for knowing exactly what I needed this Christmas season!

4) Amazing Christmas Music- New Favorites!

Andrea Bocelli is one of my all-time favorite singers. His heavenly voice in a new CD- "Andrea Bocelli-My Christmas" is beyond wonderful. Many years ago Jessi, Rog, Erik, Theresa and I saw

Andrea Bocelli in concert. It was a life-time memory for me. And here he is again singing Christmas tunes with Natalie Cole, Mary J Blige and others. What an amazing musical Christmas treat!

5) Special, Spontaneous Time With My Hubby!

Both Bert and I have busy and conflicting schedules. He works late three nights a week, has choir practice for our church, and I am busy with school and consulting activities. It is SO wonderful during the Christmas season to slow down the pace and have some fun couple's time together.

Most recently we went to Anna Seppa's fabulous Christmas concert with the Spokane Children's Choral group. What beautiful Christmas music, and Anna did an amazing job! She looked gorgeous in her long green skirt and black velvet top. Before the concert we went to our favorite Thai restaurant and had soup and capped off the evening following the concert with dessert at Lindamans. We both even got dressed up!

Thanks for inviting us to your concert Anna! We loved it and we are so delighted that you liked your flower bouquet!

6) More Christmas Memories to Follow!

I can hardly wait to see the Nutcracker Ballet with Jessi and Emma, have time at our church to celebrate Jesus, and precious time with family and friends. I may even get my annual Christmas card drawn, who knows! Besides all of the fun activities, I hope to still my life an my heart to make room for the real reason for the season...the birth of Jesus!

May you have a blessed Christmas too!

God Bless!

Love Linda

Even In The Hard Times...I Am Grateful

Today is Tuesday and Thanksgiving is two days away. If you had asked me a year ago, at Thanksgiving time, where life would take me in a year...I could never have imagined the journey I would be on. I've been a Christian since I was 15, and have been through much joy and many trials over the years, but I've been talking to God a lot lately and all I can say is..."Please, HELP!"

The specifics of what is going aren't appropriate for this blog venue, but the lessons are. And some lessons in life are just darn hard to embrace. But at age 62 I know that some of the hardest "seasons" bring the greatest growth. I also know that "Everything is a gift, even if some things don't look gift wrapped". I also know, for sure, that God loves me, no matter what and that He is in the midst of all that is going on. So what have I learned? What am I now learning? Here are a few of the lessons in November 2009:

1) I've learned that you can put your whole heart and soul into something and not have it work out the way you wanted. You simply cannot control other people. You can't control who they are, how they think, and the choices they make. At the end of the day you are only responsible that you gave the important priorities in your life a 100% effort. If you have done that, that's all you can do. Work, pray, get help, work more...but at some point you can't do it alone.

2) I've learned that you are either in or you are out. If you can't say, "I'm all in..110%", and then act in, then you are really out. Words are cheap. Being in, acting in, and making that commitment is a choice. In my book we have to say "I'm all in!" to the important choices in our lives every day.

3) I've learned that if I've done what is right for me, followed the values I have and believe in, that I can survive others being mad at me or not understanding why I did what I did. For so much of my life I didn't want to make anyone unhappy, even if it meant me being unhappy. I didn't want to stick up for me if it meant someone I loved was mad at me. But after 60, I have a new sense of peace about doing the best I can, even if others reject me because of it. Make no mistake, the rejection really hurts...but I'll get through it.

4) I've learned that family is everything. You can't replace what it means to have your family love and support you. They are your rock, your foundation. No matter how imperfect it all is, at the end of the day the support of family sometimes means the difference between making it and falling apart. Having your family "show up", not just in words, but REALLY show up in deeds and behavior means the world to me.

5) I've learned, again and again, that my husband Bert is my life partner and supporter in the hardest of times. For over 28 years, and 25+ years being married, he has wiped away my tears and listened endlessly. When my heart is breaking, he is there. When I am full of joy, he is there. He is there, and I am grateful.

6) I've learned, and this isn't a new learning, that I love my daughters with all of my heart. I always have and always will. I'm not a perfect Mom, but I am their Mom. When their hearts break, mine does too. When they succeed and are happy, I am too. Don't misunderstand, my happiness is not just connected to their happiness, but my heart is always connected to them. It will be until the day that I die. My Mom's heart was like that too. She used to say to me, "A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child." Even though they are both adults, I still love them the way I did when they were small girls.

7) I've learned that my precious grandchildren warm my heart and bring me joy in ways that nothing else does.

8) I've learned (this last Sunday) that I may be, as Tim said Sunday, a bit "accident prone".:) I say that with a smile. Who in the heck drops a hot curling iron on their eye? That's right...EYE!

Specifically...eye lid and eye ball. Who has to go to the doctor and say, "I'm here because my hand, somewhat arthritic as it is, dropped the super hot curling iron on my face and hit my eye and eye ball?" Even Dr. Staley laughed and with a gleam in his eye offered me this. "Well Linda, my worst patient ever, I have had some twenty year olds come in with this and they weren't all air-heads." So I've learned not to rush around when I've got a curling iron in my hand. Makes ya humble! :)

9) I've learned that no matter what, I want to focus on all of the blessings in my life. I am grateful, so grateful, for so many things. God has been very good to me and I don't take His blessings for granted.

So as Thanksgiving 2009 approaches, I am far richer in spirit and faith because of the "life lessons" I am learning! God holds me in the palm of His loving hand. He answers prayers. He can do miracles! For that, my heart overflows with gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving!

God Bless!

Love Linda

Great Moments!

As I sit with a cup of coffee this morning, and reflect back over the past few weeks, I am struck by all of the amazing things that have gone on. Some of the moments have been life-changing. Other small moments have touched my heart. I am aware that each day has brought "great moments" my way...small gifts to my spirit that bring life and joy to my heart. Here are a few of those moments:


The start of school has been wonderful, hectic, challenging and a true JOY! I love teaching and all that comes with it! There have been many "great moments" with my new and former students!

Not only that, I am getting to see Amy teach an Interpersonal Communication class. Her class presentation yesterday was what I like to call "Fabulous Teaching!" She had the students engaged, had a dynamite power point presentation, had a super visual poster to give them a sample of their assignment for Monday, and her handouts were amazing! I took notes and came away with new learnings I will share with my 8:30 class! It was a "great moment" to see her teach! It was also a great, great moment to see Amy complete a 1/2 marathon recently!! It was also a "great moment" to see KK complete a 10K!!

Another "great moment" for me came this last Wednesday as I watched Jacob run his first cross country race for his grade school, Balboa Elementary. Jacob and his best friend Caleb love to do almost anything together, and they both are on the cross country team, complete with uniforms!! What a treat to see them get out there, with children from five other schools, and run and run!!

I also had a great moment with Jenna at that race. She is such a "hoot"...so funny and so expressive. I was trying to hold her so Amy could take pictures and she looked at me, and with a dramatic scowl said, "Nana, you stuck me!" Stuck me? I looked around to see if something on my clothing had pinched her ? Amy translated that this meant that I was holding her and not letting her go...when she wanted badly to go! I've been laughing all week about that moment!

Jenna lights up my life! It's so fun to hear her say, "I luv my skool!"

My "great moment" with Emma came yesterday when I presented her a bag with some "goodies" for her upcoming trip to Hawaii!. One of my students told me about a store called "Justice" at the Northtown mall. I had a few minutes yesterday so I went there in search of "cool stuff" for Emma to take on her trip. I found a great bag, shorts, a top, a journal that "lights up" on the cover (I'm not kidding), and a cool card with flip flops on the cover. I also casually slipped a $2o.oo bill into the card.

Emma was so appreciative for the bag and its goodies, but when she saw the $20 bill she was beyond excited. Her words ring in my ears and put a grin on my face. She said, giving me a hug,"Nana, you saved my life!" Absolutely the best $20 I've ever spent!! :) :) It was also fun to go to Emma's soccer game this past weekend!

Life is FULL of "great moments", small moments that can bring great JOY! Today I am focusing on all of the blessings and great moments that God has generously given me. Seeing Amy teach, having lunch with her afterwards, having dinner with Jessi (Rog and Emma too) and time with my precious grandbabies...these are all "great moments" in my life!

Seeing my family, and spending time with them, puts a grin on my face and a smile in my heart!

I hope you all have some "great moments" this weekend!

God Bless!

Love Linda

Rendered Speechless...Still I Will Say...Blessed Be The Name of The Lord!

Most people who know me know that words usually come easily to me. I teach communication classes, write speeches, give speeches, and talk freely. Not lately.

I have been, as my Mom and Nana used to say, "rendered almost speechless" by the events of late. I've tried to blog about it all, but the words just weren't there.

Until this morning.

I went on a Christian Mom's blog I follow. Her daughter was born with a congenital heart defect and she had a song on her blog that brought me to tears. The title is "Blessed Be Your Name."

Hearing this music, and seeing these lyrics, says it all for me right now. So much has happened...

Amy running at the lake and being hit by a car. This broke my heart.

Mary Ann Sanger dies

My knee injury

Some people I thought would really show up (physically and emotionally) in tough times didn't

More cuts at the college

Getting a horrible case of the flu

Feeling sad about some relationship dynamics

Bill Greene having a heart triple bypass operation

Donna, in our church choir, having to give up singing because of medical problems in her throat

The list goes on and on and my heart has felt heavy and sad, yet I just couldn't find the words to talk about it. Until today.

I know well, after 62 years on the planet, and becoming a Christian at age 14, that there are times, as the song says, "when the sun's shining down on me..and the world's all as it should be". Most of my life resembles these words. I have been truly blessed with love and health most of my life.

I also know that the times that really grow me, the times that challenge me and hurt me, are the times when I lean the most on God. Those are the times "marked with suffering and there's pain in the offering." I would never choose those times, but I CAN choose to grow from them and get through them with Grace.

So today, the words are flowing and I am praising God, no matter what!

"My heart will choose to say

God blessed be Your name!"

God Bless!

Love Linda

Near Tears....

Most days I wake up and feel boyant and happy. Today isn't one of those days. I feel near tears and somewhat overwhelmed. Lots of reasons for this.

I vowed I'd be transparent in writing this blog and while I don't get into all the details of my intimate life, I don't want to gloss over the truth.

I have an overwhelming feeling of missing my Mom and wishing I could call her so she could reassure me (oops not near tears now, pretty much sobbing). I just plain miss her and her wisdom.

I wonder how God can be so patient and forgiving of me as I struggle to be the person He intends me to be (blowing my nose now, this isn't pretty). There is so much I don't understand as I see hurt people and know that I have hurt people too.

Recently several dear friends, like Mary Ann Sanger, have died. I miss them. Not easy at all to have them gone.

We got another letter that we are having another 2% cut at the college. That's on top of the 7% cut we have already taken. I'm on a committee to work on the "where will we get it from now?"
Yikes!

I'm tired, just plain tired, of living in a construction zone since last January. The rain has stopped the work on the outside of our house, so construction has again been delayed and the "finish date" extended. As I write this I realize it sounds like whining, and I hate whining, but I'm really disappointed in this delay.

I've been working on cleaning out our house, one drawer at a time. It's not how I want to spend my time, but it is how I need to spend my time. Yuck!! WAY overdue!!

I miss hugging my kids and grandkids. They are growing up so fast. I have seen them recently, but there is never enough time. Someone who is critical could argue with me to stop working or it's a matter of prioritizing choices...yup, I know that, but that's just how I feel right now. Finding that balance isn't easy.

Lots of things are changing. Some of those "things" are relationships that mean alot to me. I know that change is good, but it isn't always easy. I'm trying to be flexible and "go with the flow". Not my strong suit.

I wish I could have a big, big cry like Jenna, say "I'm sorry" and feel better.

I know in my heart of hearts that it's ok to be sad, it's ok to be near tears, it's ok to be where I am. I know I'll be better soon.

I can hear my Dad in the back of my head.."You get five total minutes in your life to whine...."
OK Dad...my time is up!

God Bless!
Love, Linda





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Change, Change, and More Change!...The Construction Continues!

One of my favorite quotations says:
"Everything is a gift. It's just that some things don't look gift wrapped!"

Last January, shortly after returning from Hawaii, we had a flood at our home. Snow had piled up on the deck outside our master bedroom (on our third floor) and as there was a sudden melt, the ice jammed the drain. Water seeped under the sliding glass door, drenched the entire carpet upstairs, and I came home (after the first day of school) to water pouring out of the recessed lighting in the kitchen, dining room, and living room (on the second floor). Gallons and gallons and gallons of water! What a mess!!!

We brought in a water evacuation and construction company who ripped up carpet on two floors of our home and tried to dry us out with the promise that when the weather warmed up we would take out the damaged dry wall, repair the damaged stucco on the outside of our home, repaint the inside and outside, and ultimately be good as new.

This process of "change for the better" (as we've labeled this process) has been going on at our home since January. We've had construction workers here almost daily for the last three months (since May) and needed to stay here to help oversee the myriad of decisions that needed to be made.

As of this week, the furniture is mostly back in place (instead of piled in the center of the living room) and the dust has been vacuumed from the furnace and air system. We recently found the remote for the tv and all of the beautiful changes and fresh paint make us look better than new! :)

While I was in Cannon Beach, Bert spent hours and hours in the clean up process, and we will probably make even more progress in the "put it back together" phase in the next two weeks!

Yesterday they power washed the outside of our home and the outside paint job begins later this week! Huge ladders are everywhere as we are in a four story town home.

The final stage is to have the tiles on the roof put back on. That's right...the roof also needed repair and much of our roof has been sitting on our deck, waiting to be reassembled!

Ah, change!

While all of this construction doesn't lend itself to the usual, relaxed, and less-stressed mode of operation in the summer....the long-range benefits are worth all of the inconveniences!

We are blessed to have home insurance which will pay for some, but not all, of these expenses.
We are blessed to have great workers who are easy to be around at 7am in the morning! :)
We are blessed that the damage wasn't much worse!! We are grateful to have things fresh and painted!

While living in a construction zone isn't easy, and living in disarray is a change that is challenging, we are focusing on all the blessings!

Sending hugs and loves your way...no matter the challenge or change!
God Bless!
Love Linda

LINDA and SHARON : UNPLUGGED!!!!

There really are not words to describe how wonderful it is to go to Cannon Beach every year with my friend Sharon. Sharon's sister, Colleen, described the time as "Linda and Sharon: "Unplugged!"

It really is a time of momentous change for me:

1) Usually, in Spokane, I am up by 3:30-4am- At Cannon Beach I slept in once until 7am!! :)

2) Usually I am focused on teaching, consulting and family- At Cannon Beach I am focused on rest, renewal, fun, exercise, and time with God!!

3) Usually I am reading books that have "redeeming value" that I can utilize in teaching or consulting- At Cannon Beach I usually read 6-7 books in a week and they all stretch my soul and energize my heart!

4) Usually I walk inside every morning at SCC , at 5:45 am, and go around the halls and up and down the stairwells.- At Cannon Beach I walked every morning along the ocean and back through the town! What a spectacular view !!

5) Usually I am focused, task-driven and fairly serious about getting "stuff" done.- At Cannon Beach I laugh myself silly with Sharon until I am breathless. I also cry by the ocean and pour out to God the hurts in my life.

The list goes on and on!

This time of renewal at Cannon Beach is such a HUGE blessing in my life and my physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual life is reenergized and enhanced because of it!

I am deeply grateful!

I hope you have some "unplugged" time this summer too!
God Bless!
Love Linda

WHERE I AM TODAY: Reigniting My Own Spirit!

My beloved Bert, who knows me so, so well,often says that I take life on as if there was no tomorrow and that I do EVERYTHING in a BIG way! He smiles when he says this and often chuckles and shakes his head.

My high school counselor Dale Hanberg, who saw me involved in almost every activity in high school, smiled at me and chuckled when he told me that if I didn't slow down that I'd burn out by thirty. He said, "Linda, there is no one quite like you and none of us can keep up with you. The pace you keep, and the things you accomplish, always go above and beyond!" Again, Mr. Hanberg is someone who knew me well.

I've found over the past several years of blogging that there are several reoccuring themes that echo Bert's and Mr. Hanberg's descriptions of me:
1) I love what I do at work and with my family.
2) I am passionate about being a teacher, consultant and all of the personal roles like wife, Mom, Nana, and friend.
3) It's hard to find time for everything I love to do.
4) I need a more balanced life with more time for fun.
5) I often resist making choices that balance my life.
6) My life is way more balanced in the summer!

I notice this lack of balance most accutely at the end of the school year when I feel I am literally going full speed at every moment. As Wayne Dyer says in his book "Being In Balance"...
"There is more to life than making it go faster."

However the end of the year has a pace all its own, and "balance" is in short supply in my life.

On June 17th I did a workshop for a wonderful consulting client, June 18th was graduation at SCC, and Friday, June 19th, my grades went in at SCC. Granted,these activities are all part and parcel of choices I have made and requirements for my jobs. However, within minutes of my grades going in it felt like I was starting to breathe again. I found myself smiling, almost as if being "balanced" was right around the corner!!

Being balanced for me is not an absence of activity. Rather it is doing some of the "FUN STUFF" that reignites my spirit. So here are a few of the "reigniting" activities that have gone on recently:

1) GOING TO EMMA'S KINDERGARTEN GRADUATION:
Oh my gosh, where did this year go? It seems like only yesterday that I was putting balloons in Emma's front yard as she went to her first day of kindergarten. She was so little then in stature, but she had such a big spirit!! Watching Emma at her graduation celebration, and seeing her memory book in her classroom, was a great reminder that time flys. It was so fun to be a part of this celebration for her! She's off to first grade next year!

2) EMMA's OVERNIGHT AT OUR HOUSE/ CHEERING FOR JESSI and ROG AT THE MEDICAL LAKE TRIATHLON:
Friday June 19th Emma stayed overnight at our house. She is so amazing and so, so funny! She cracks herself up and everyone else in the process. She became "Ninja Girl" and walked around like Daniel in Karate Kid making Ninja movements, noises, and then falling into hysterical laughter. We did some crafting together as we were a "cheer squad" the next day at Rog and Jessi's Medical Lake Triathlon race. In true Emma and Nana style we went to Joann's, got glittery visors, tons of glittery stickers, a blue boa, and sign materials. Saturday morning after our slumber party, (we didn't get much sleep because of all the thunder and lightening), we crafted our little hearts out. We decorated our visors, matching water holders, and made signs. We then headed out to cheer! What a hoot!! Seeing Rog take first place at that race and Jessi take the first woman in the race made me, once again, appreciate their dedication, courage, and training for this sport!! We loved cheering for them!!

3) BIRTHDAY SPA TIME WITH JESSI:
June 24th hold special meaning for me since 32 years ago Jessi was born on that day. To celebrate her birthday this year, I took Jessi to Spa Paradiso where we both had massages and then had a wonderful Davenport lunch! What a treat to spend that fun and relaxing time together getting pampered!! Massages and spa time really reignite my spirit!!

4)JACOB'S OVERNIGHT BEFORE HOOPFEST WEEKEND/ FUN WITH JENNA:
The end of June is always crazy with athletic events like Ironman and Hoopfest! The night before Hoopfest started, and Ryan played for two teams, Jacob stayed overnight. It seems like ages since he has had time with us and that he has grown three inches since his last overnight. He and Boppa played basketball and we watched fun movies. The next day we had Jenna, since hours of being on basketball courts in the heat doesn't work well for her, and we went to the water park on the south hill. She is such an energetic cutie and she loved running through the spraying water. What a hoot!!

5) TIME AT THE LAKE:
Since our townhouse is in the midst of construction from our winter flood, and there is dust and construction everywhere, Bert and I took some time to go to the lake and have fun in the sun. My favorite part of our time there was going on the inner tube behind the boat and laughing myself silly!! What a treat to reignite my spirit by just having FUN!!! It was also especially great to have some time with Zac and Kayla. Zac is headed to high school next year and is so tall that he towers over me. Kayla is headed to middle school and is a beautiful young lady both inside and out. It feels like I hardly have time with either of them during the regular school year so some catch up time is so important.

Catching up with myself and those I love is a huge part of reigniting my spirit!!

Speaking of catching up with myself...I head to my annual retreat to Cannon Beach at the end of this next week. My dear friend Sharon and I look forward to this retreat and rejuvination time all year long! This year has been rewarding and very challenging so I feel blessed to get away and get rejuvinated- spiritually, physically, intellectually and emotionally!

Before I head off however I'm headed to SCC this morning to finish cleaning my office and room and get ready for fall quarter!:) Somehow being a teacher never ends! :)

I hope your summer time is full of love, fun, personal rejuvination, and blessings!
God Bless!
Love Linda

Somewhere Over the Rainbow!

Wow! What a weekend in Puyallup! The highlight was, without a doubt, hearing Emily sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" in Ella Fitzgerald fashion! Better yet, she publically dedicated it to her Grandpa Bert, and it's his favorite song! Lots of tears! We are so proud of Emily and all her hard work with drama and singing. She is one gifted girl!!

I'll do a longer catch up post AFTER finals are over!!
God Bless!
Love and hugs to all of you!
Linda

WOW,WOW, and WOW AGAIN!: Amy Gets Her Masters Degree From Gonzaga University!!

One of the truly fun parts of being a Mom is seeing all of the milestones my children go through as they grow up....their first steps, first day of school, first date, graduation from high school, graduation from college, getting married, birth of their first child...the list goes on and on. My prayer has always been that they would grow up to be who they are uniquely meant to be, be happy in their own skin, know that God loves them, and that they would fulfill their dreams.

Last Saturday my precious daughter Amy achieved one of her dreams. She graduated from Gonzaga University with a Masters degree in Communications and Leadership Studies. She set a goal, she dedicated herself to achieving it, and she accomplished it in style- getting an A in every class and special recognition of her Masters thesis about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation in the workplace.

How Amy achieved this dream is beyond amazing to me. I too have a masters degree (two of them) and the work load at the post-graduate level to achieve a Masters Degree is incomprehensible to most people, unless you have done it. There are hours and hours of going to class, reading academic works, writing and rewriting papers, conferences with academic advisors, presentations to give, more papers to write, an oral exam and presentation of your thesis, and writing a thesis that is scrutinized by an academic committee of the faculty of the university.

It is rigorus academic work under any circumstances. Yet to do it , as Amy did, while working part time as the manager of a consulting practice, getting pregnant and have a new baby, being an exceptional Mom to four children (and attend all their activities), being an amazing wife, daughter, sister, and friend, participating in a church, and driving children in cars for hours and hours...and hours....well that to me defines an exceptional effort and achievement.

Yet since Amy was a little girl she has never been one to "toot her own horn!" She is very humble and grateful for the opportunity to get an education, but she will be the last person to tell you she got an A in all of her classes or that she did her studying at night so her children wouldn't have to compete with school for her attention.

Saturday was Amy's day...her graduation day. Not only did she look beautiful, she looked radiant. Seeing her cross that stage, and seeing her at her graduation party, warmed my heart.

She was surrounded by Ryan and all four of her precious children, her family, her best friend Jodi and her family...it just doesn't get better than that!

So here's to YOU Aim! I'm bringing a band of horns, trumpets, a big brass band, to "toot your horn" for you! Boppa and I are SO, SO proud of you...who you are as a person, your love for the Lord. the servant heart you have for others, and this huge accomplishment of getting your Masters degree! We love you to the moon and back, and we are proud that you are our daughter!!

May God bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you and give you joy and peace! May you always know His love for you and that you are His beloved child!

Your proud Momma

Spring Communication Conference- WE DID IT!!!

WOW! It was a bit like birthing a baby...months and months of preparation and hard work, concern and intention...a goal to put on a conference for SCC and the community.

The Spring Communication conference has become an annual event in my life. Five years ago I agreed to take it over to see if we could make it more professional and really highlight our department and bring in new students. I saw this event as a marketing opportunity extraordinare, if we stepped up to REALLY showcase what we give to students in our classes. It could also be a gift to our community because we could market it in Spokane as a free opportunity for education.

What continues to amaze me is that this event grows and grows, and we now have a class that puts this on as a communications internship for students in our communications program. This year we had three student managers and ran it as a business. While I was the CEO, the managers (who participated in the conference last year) learned management skills as they supervised key committees.

This may sound pretty "typical" for a business, yet we were putting on a conference for 1000 people, decorating the huge conference center, providing food, muffins, fruit trays, juice and coffee for a thousand, brochures, marketing postcards and more...on a BUDGET OF $00.00.

That's right NO MONEY!

This student-run conference had to get donations during a recession to function. And they DID IT BIG TIME!!

The marketing blitz was phenominal..complete with professional postcard invitations, readerboard signs, brochures put out, invitation speeches made in classes and churches, and signs everywhere!

This year we had 1100 total participants, gorgeous decorations and flowers, balloons everywhere, platters of fruit and food, Roberta Greene as the keynote speaker, eight other workshops following, and a celebration luncheon to boot.

My role on May 5th was to be the MC for the keynote session, introduce the keynote speaker,

and give two workshops, one at 9:30 with Scott Finnie and one at 10:30 on "How To Become An Optimist!"

Whew! It was an amazing experience with so many highlights...filled with hundreds of hours of work for me and not much sleep:) But seeing the students be self-empowered and do what seemed impossible with such hard work and professionalism made it WELL worth the hard work. Also, when we look at the FTE numbers for our department, we are up 30% since last year! That means more of our students at SCC are being exposed to how to be better communicators!! Another goal reached!

Thanks to all who asked about how it went and special KUDOS to Bert and Amy for coming to the conference to support me (and to Tim for taking care of Jenna so Amy could attend)!:)

As I always say...I have the best job in the world!

God Bless!

Love Linda

BLOOMSDAY 2009- "WE ARE WOMEN, HEAR US ROAR!"

This quarter I have been teaching a Gender Communication class and it has brought up many memories for me of growing up female! Last week one of my female students was using a thesaurus and actually found us listed under "weaker sex"....She was furious as was I. Are you kidding me???

In 1972 (I was born in 1947) Helen Reddy sang a number one hit called "I Am Woman". This song was controversial at the time and yet is still applicable today. The lyrics say in part:

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back and pretend.

Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever going to keep me down again!

Today is Bloomsday and the race course will be crammed full of women runners. When Jessi and Amy were little we used to sit at the top of Doomsday Hill and yell for the wheelchair athletes. In 1986 I was running and did the Bloomsday course in one hour and twenty minutes....not a big deal by most standards, but great for ME! On another note, Bert did Bloomsday in 50 minutes when he was 50! Way to go Boppa!

And that's what it is really about in my book...EVERY woman having the right to achieve their FULL POTENTIAL with no artificial restrictions like gender.

This morning my daughter Jessi is in the second seed group and is wearing BLUE..she is number 721. She EARNED this place in the race and is running it so sick most folks would stay home. She'll be out there giving it her all! I'm ROOTING for you Jess Jess!

Amy's best friend Jodi is also running as fast as the wind! All I can say is WOW!! Get those Kenyans Jodi! No matter how fast you run...we are so proud of you!

While I am cheering for all of the athletes who have the guts to do Bloomsday, I am sending up a HUGE cheer for all of my "sisters" who are out there!

Give 'em heck ladies! Let's hear you ROAR!!!

God Bless!
Love Linda