Worry does not empty tomorrow
of its sorrow. It empties today of
its strength.
- Corrie Ten Boom
Sometimes, at every corner, a message repeats itself...
again...
and again...
and again...
and again.
God works that way sometimes, or so it seems to me. "You aren't getting this," He whispers. Then, and just a little louder, He says, "Here, let me send it to you another way."
"Oh, you have your fingers in your ears so you don't have to listen? Let's try a way you can't ignore." "Okay, you still refuse to pay attention, let me deluge you from six different people and everywhere you look you'll see it."
At times I am slow to get His message. Okay, very slow to get the message. Okay, truthfully, refuse to get His message. It's not the message I want. It hits too close to home. Or my absolute favorite...This isn't a good time for this message because I am so busy.
And even when I do get God's message, I may be reluctant or even stubborn to act on it. I'm not saying I am proud of those "dig your heels in and cover your ears moments." I'm sure God must almost laugh when He sees me, His creation, so ready to ditch what He has in store for me.
The message I needed to receive from God this week first came after an unusually intense time of worrying about my students. It's almost the end of the school year and some of them are overwhelmed and struggling not to quit. Yet that was only a symptom of a deeper issue. Like my students, I felt surrounded, almost engulfed, by problems and things to do. Everywhere. I was so worried about forgetting something on the double-whammy, stuffed to the core, unbelievably busy (and no time to breathe) schedule that my sleep was being impacted.
Then my youngest daughter Amy sent me a devotional...and guess what the topic was?
It was about worry and turning everything over to God. This Encouragement for Today article was by Traci Miles and was entitled. "When Worry is part of Your Personality." In it Traci reminds me that in Matthew 6:25-34 Jesus told His followers not to worry about food or clothes or for that matter anything, because God promised He would provide for our needs, just as he does for the birds of the air. That's a promise I want to believe! Amy knows me so well and somehow knew I needed this message.
She often reminds me about worrying by saying, "Mom, worry isn't prayer."
Okay, message number one received. CHECK.
The second message I needed to receive came when I read a student paper and she had read a book called The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. Corrie Ten Boom was a Dutch Christian who, along with her father and other family members, hid many Jews during the Nazi Holocaust. Eventually the family was discovered and sent to a German prison camp. Corrie and her sister Betsy could have given up hope. Instead they relied on their faith. Corrie's famous quote, in my student's paper, was about worry and was my second reminder this week about God's message for me. In great, red typed letters on her paper, almost so I would know this was for me, the student wrote Corrie's quote...
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow.
It empties today of its strength.
Yikes, is there a theme here? Message number two received. CHECK.
And then this morning as I went to read my devotional for June 7th...today...
in Sarah Young's Jesus Calling, there was another message. I bet you can guess what the third message was. Right?
Here it is....
"I am all around you, like a cocoon of light. My presence with you is a
promise, independent of your awareness of Me. Many things can block this awareness, but the major culprit is worry.
(May I insert here an "Are You kidding me?" response. THIS topic again.
Hear His whisper, "Yes, Linda. Again. You don't seem to be listening.")
My children tend to accept worry as an inescapable fact of life.
However, worry is a form of unbelief; it is anathema to me.
(May I respectfully insert here a HUGE gulp...God sees wory as unbelief ...yikes, and I need a moment to look up the word"anathema" to be sure I understand it?)
Okay, I'm back. Anathema is defined as a vehement denunciation. Meaning that God detests worry. Worry is abhorrent to Him. Now Jesus Calling continues to say...)
Who is in charge of your life? If it is you, then you have good reason to worry.
(Okay, Lord, You have my total, undivided attention now...)
But if it is I, then worry is both unnecessary and counterproductive.
When you start to feel anxious about something, relinquish the situation to Me. Back off a bit, redirecting your focus to Me.
(And here comes the promise...I can just feel it :) ...)
I will either take care of the problem Myself or show you how to handle it.
In this world you will have problems, but you need not lose sight of Me.
(Whew, He is really in control. There is hope for me about worrying).
Message number three received. CHECK!
So where does that leave me with all of the busy schedule ahead and all the things that are pressing and need to be done? The answer, plain and clear: Turn my focus away from worry and toward Him. Relax in His reassurance that either He will solve these dilemmas or will show me how to handle them. I need to keep my sights on Him and All is Well. The Lord God Almighty loves me, and He has got this!
Message number four received. I get it, Lord. Thanks for Your patience and Love. CHECK!!
God Bless!
Love you to the moon and back,
Linda
Saturday, June 07, 2014
Sunday, June 01, 2014
So Blessed and So Sad...Missing Two Amazing Women in My Life!
Kind Heart
Fierce Mind
Brave Spirit
Clear and simple...I have a choice. I can be saturated in sadness and loss,
or I can be grateful for the time I knew them and had with them. I can concentrate on the fact that in all probability there will never be someone
like them again in my life, or I can know in my heart-of-hearts that while these
soul sisters are one of a kind women, and changed my mind and heart, that
God will bring others into my life that will also bring joy and growth and learning and stretching and changing, changing at the deepest level.
It is hard to lose people who mean the world to me.
It is hard to adjust to the space in my heart that they have occupied.
Living, breathing occupied.
They will always be in my heart...but truth be told, not in quite the same way.
They have each left a lasting legacy of caring and wisdom in my mind and heart.
While I knew them in two entirely different contexts, they were an answer to prayer.
These women warriors
These truth tellers
These authentic soul-bearers
These kind-hearted, fierce-minded, brave-spirited women...
who touched my life at the deepest level.
These kindred spirits sharing our journeys while here.
Because of both of you I breathe differently, see life differently and I am
more kind-hearted, fierce-minded, and brave-spirited myself.
One is a neighbor, the other a national treasure.
One will still be on the planet, but is moving to another location.
The other has, after 86 years, gone home to be with God.
How grateful I am that they both touched my life.
I am not the same because I knew them.
Maya Angelou has the word angel in her name
She was an angel who graced our culture and changed my heart.
I fell in love with Maya Angelou many, many years ago when I saw her face and read her poetry. Maya talking from the heart, touched my heart.
Her indominable spirit, her overcoming of personal tragedy
Every line on her gorgeous face a record of her sojourn on God's earth.
She mothered me in a way I needed mothering.
Her poems... so poignantly describing the African American experience,
also spoke to my soul, a privileged white girl from the north.
Maya helped to grow my own spirit of social justice.
I see her in the walk and the talk of my black sisters and brothers at my church.
Her clear enunciation of language brought it to life.
Her word choices painted pictures in my heart.
Universal words she sang as they rolled off her mighty lips.
As she said...Love Liberates. Hear her powerful words and see her gorgeous face...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7dxnQQEpXs
Maya Angelou died and our nation mourns and celebrates all she gave us...
books like I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, poems like And Still I Rise.
I read and reread her works, all of them. Heart-changers they are.
And then there is Sarah, my dear friend Sarah Chauhan...
It is so hard to lose Maya Angelou, my friend from afar, but to lose my sweet
neighbor-friend, my stop-across-the-way friend, my I-get-your-heart friend...
well, it's almost too much for my heart to bare.
Sarah, and Raj, and Lance, and Ryker, and Lauren, and Ronin...are all
moving to San Diego. The house is sold. The things are packed. The job
that might keep them here, didn't come through. And so they are moving.
Chosen family... they are.
Know you at a trusting, put out the truth level...they are.
Irreplaceable...they are.
And my tears, rolling down my face, at expected and unexpected moments
Are a testament to what Sarah has meant to me...still means to me.
A year and a half was just not long enough.
I feel sadness in my bones that they are leaving.
I will be grateful my whole life that I knew them.
That I knew Sarah, really knew Sarah at a heart level.
Sarah, just like Maya, has a kind heart, fierce mind and brave spirit.
Such a brave spirit my sweet friend has.
I will miss her.
I will see her again.
But I will miss her ...across the way, only a few steps from here...miss her.
And I am not the same because I knew her.
Maya and Sarah.
I am so blessed and I so sad.
I will love you both always and I will miss you both forever.
God Bless!
Love Linda
Fierce Mind
Brave Spirit
Clear and simple...I have a choice. I can be saturated in sadness and loss,
or I can be grateful for the time I knew them and had with them. I can concentrate on the fact that in all probability there will never be someone
like them again in my life, or I can know in my heart-of-hearts that while these
soul sisters are one of a kind women, and changed my mind and heart, that
God will bring others into my life that will also bring joy and growth and learning and stretching and changing, changing at the deepest level.
It is hard to lose people who mean the world to me.
It is hard to adjust to the space in my heart that they have occupied.
Living, breathing occupied.
They will always be in my heart...but truth be told, not in quite the same way.
They have each left a lasting legacy of caring and wisdom in my mind and heart.
While I knew them in two entirely different contexts, they were an answer to prayer.
These women warriors
These truth tellers
These authentic soul-bearers
These kind-hearted, fierce-minded, brave-spirited women...
who touched my life at the deepest level.
These kindred spirits sharing our journeys while here.
Because of both of you I breathe differently, see life differently and I am
more kind-hearted, fierce-minded, and brave-spirited myself.
One is a neighbor, the other a national treasure.
One will still be on the planet, but is moving to another location.
The other has, after 86 years, gone home to be with God.
How grateful I am that they both touched my life.
I am not the same because I knew them.
Maya Angelou has the word angel in her name
She was an angel who graced our culture and changed my heart.
I fell in love with Maya Angelou many, many years ago when I saw her face and read her poetry. Maya talking from the heart, touched my heart.
Her indominable spirit, her overcoming of personal tragedy
Every line on her gorgeous face a record of her sojourn on God's earth.
She mothered me in a way I needed mothering.
Her poems... so poignantly describing the African American experience,
also spoke to my soul, a privileged white girl from the north.
Maya helped to grow my own spirit of social justice.
I see her in the walk and the talk of my black sisters and brothers at my church.
Her clear enunciation of language brought it to life.
Her word choices painted pictures in my heart.
Universal words she sang as they rolled off her mighty lips.
As she said...Love Liberates. Hear her powerful words and see her gorgeous face...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7dxnQQEpXs
Maya Angelou died and our nation mourns and celebrates all she gave us...
books like I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, poems like And Still I Rise.
I read and reread her works, all of them. Heart-changers they are.
And then there is Sarah, my dear friend Sarah Chauhan...
It is so hard to lose Maya Angelou, my friend from afar, but to lose my sweet
neighbor-friend, my stop-across-the-way friend, my I-get-your-heart friend...
well, it's almost too much for my heart to bare.
Sarah, and Raj, and Lance, and Ryker, and Lauren, and Ronin...are all
moving to San Diego. The house is sold. The things are packed. The job
that might keep them here, didn't come through. And so they are moving.
Chosen family... they are.
Know you at a trusting, put out the truth level...they are.
Irreplaceable...they are.
And my tears, rolling down my face, at expected and unexpected moments
Are a testament to what Sarah has meant to me...still means to me.
A year and a half was just not long enough.
I feel sadness in my bones that they are leaving.
I will be grateful my whole life that I knew them.
That I knew Sarah, really knew Sarah at a heart level.
Sarah, just like Maya, has a kind heart, fierce mind and brave spirit.
Such a brave spirit my sweet friend has.
I will miss her.
I will see her again.
But I will miss her ...across the way, only a few steps from here...miss her.
And I am not the same because I knew her.
Maya and Sarah.
I am so blessed and I so sad.
I will love you both always and I will miss you both forever.
God Bless!
Love Linda
Monday, May 26, 2014
Remembering...those who served, like my Dad
Be sure you
put your feet
in the right
place, then
stand firm.
-Abraham Lincoln
My Mom told the story often. It was part of her history
with my Dad. They had only been engaged a short time and
were having breakfast at a diner in Seattle, Washington.
The radio was on and suddenly the whole world stopped.
My Mom described the eggs on her plate. She never forgot
what they looked like.
It was December 7, 1941 and Japan had bombed Pearl Harbor.
Suddenly the US was thrust into World War II. My parents
married on December 22nd and were sent to Texas before my
Father left for three years overseas.
Three years.
Three long and hard years.
Yet in all the times of reliving those days in a tent, the days
he saw combat, all of the enormous loss of life, what I will
always remember is that my Father never complained.
Not once. Not ever.
Both of my parents lost so many friends who were serving this country.
The entire football team from Montana State University, never
came back. They were all my Mom's dear friends.
Not one of them came home.
My Dad once said, "I was too old to go, (he was 28) but I told them there
was no way I wasn't going to serve my country. So they let me in."
No Complaining.
Not once. Not ever.
All over the United States today we are celebrating Memorial Day.
We are celebrating the lives of old soldiers long gone....
We are remembering those who didn't come home after recent service.
We are celebrating the freedom we have because of the gift they gave.
Flags are flying
We are remembering
I've seen the pictures of my Dad in his uniform
His sacrifice of time and care and devotion and love
Makes him a hero in my eyes.
He wasn't the same after those three years.
It changed him to be in a war.
But he loved this country, and proudly served it.
He lost many good friends who never came home.
I love you Daddy, and I won't ever forget!
You and countless other brave Americans
Put your feet in the right place,
and then stood firm!
Tonight, Memorial Day night, we watched an amazing movie on WWII.
Don't miss The Monuments Men
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CreneTs7sGs
God Bless!
Love, Linda
put your feet
in the right
place, then
stand firm.
-Abraham Lincoln
My Mom told the story often. It was part of her history
with my Dad. They had only been engaged a short time and
were having breakfast at a diner in Seattle, Washington.
The radio was on and suddenly the whole world stopped.
My Mom described the eggs on her plate. She never forgot
what they looked like.
It was December 7, 1941 and Japan had bombed Pearl Harbor.
Suddenly the US was thrust into World War II. My parents
married on December 22nd and were sent to Texas before my
Father left for three years overseas.
Three years.
Three long and hard years.
Yet in all the times of reliving those days in a tent, the days
he saw combat, all of the enormous loss of life, what I will
always remember is that my Father never complained.
Not once. Not ever.
Both of my parents lost so many friends who were serving this country.
The entire football team from Montana State University, never
came back. They were all my Mom's dear friends.
Not one of them came home.
My Dad once said, "I was too old to go, (he was 28) but I told them there
was no way I wasn't going to serve my country. So they let me in."
No Complaining.
Not once. Not ever.
All over the United States today we are celebrating Memorial Day.
We are celebrating the lives of old soldiers long gone....
We are remembering those who didn't come home after recent service.
We are celebrating the freedom we have because of the gift they gave.
Flags are flying
We are remembering
I've seen the pictures of my Dad in his uniform
His sacrifice of time and care and devotion and love
Makes him a hero in my eyes.
He wasn't the same after those three years.
It changed him to be in a war.
But he loved this country, and proudly served it.
He lost many good friends who never came home.
I love you Daddy, and I won't ever forget!
You and countless other brave Americans
Put your feet in the right place,
and then stood firm!
Tonight, Memorial Day night, we watched an amazing movie on WWII.
Don't miss The Monuments Men
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CreneTs7sGs
God Bless!
Love, Linda
Saturday, May 24, 2014
I Always Thought...Reflections on an Unsettled Heart
Bring me your mind for rest and renewal.
Let me infuse My presence into your thoughts.
As your mind stops racing, your body relaxes,
and you regain awareness of Me. This awareness
is vital to your spiritual well-being; it is your
life-line.
- Jesus Calling for May 24th
I always thought that by the time I reached my sixties that all of life would fall into place, that I would have more answers than questions.
I always thought that wisdom would settle in like
sinking into an old, familiar couch, where you were immediately comfortable and at home.
I always thought.
I always thought that with aging came comfort, came peace,
came tranquility. Like the puzzle pieces coming together
effortlessly. Sliding in, fitting nicely, with a sigh of contentment.
I saw aging as well-earned rest and reward. A mind and heart at peace.
I always thought.
Instead, it seems, at sixty seven, that life has so many new learnings at every turn. That some of what once filled my heart and took my attention may not make much sense any longer.
Usually I am oh. so. comfortable in my own skin, but that just
isn't true these days. While some things still feel like constants,
and I am where I am supposed to be, more often than not I am re-thinking and re-examining who God wants me to be. I am nudged and pulled and twisted to look at life through a new lens.
His lens.
I am acutely aware that there are more days behind me than in front of me. I want every day to count, to mean something, to be tapped into His agenda for me, not my own. His open-
hearted living for me. His deep gratitude for me. His sense of
purpose for me.
I have always had a heart for social justice and hurt people,
His people, no matter where they are. No matter the color of their skin, no matter how much education they have or how rich or poor they are. They are all His children. All of them.
Every. single. one.
Sometimes it's easier to close my eyes. Pretend I don't see.
Or feel my plate is too full to make a difference. But He has my
eyes wide open these days.
What I know for sure is that when His children hurt,
He hurts.
What I also know for sure is that when they hurt,
I hurt too.
I can't stand to see people be hungry. It breaks my heart every time. That's why I bring food every day into my classroom...
oranges, always oranges, and cookies and muffins and apples.
If the bellies of my beloved students are full, so can their minds be full. That's why I carry apples in my car. I can't drive by someone on a corner, holding a sign-asking for help, without my heart breaking.
Some years back my precious Grandson, Jacob, taught me a huge life-lesson. A God-lesson. Jacob was starting to read and would sound out the words on the hand-held signs, held by the homeless and hurting on almost every corner.
His small voice in the back seat would say..."I am hungry and anything will help." And then he would look at me.
His Nana.
And he would whisper..."What are we going to do?"
And that's when the apples in the car began. Hand out an apple or a bag of apples, or a happy meal. Began. Keep food in the car to give away. Began.
And the children shall lead them.
I can't do much, I can't fix everything...but I can give them food.
That's why, at a recent food drive at the college where I teach, I kept filling up grocery cart after grocery cart at the store. I can't stand that many of my students and their precious babies are worrying about putting food on the table.
The lyrics to a song at Church keep pulsing
through my mind....
" Break my heart for what breaks Yours."
In truth, this time of life that I thought would be infused with
great comfort, instead has my skin itching, my mind racing and my heart breaking.
Yet I know He wants me to breathe and rest in Him. I know He wants me to infuse His presence into my thoughts. He wants to calm my racing mind and relax and trust in Him.
And I also know that He wants me to shed some parts of my life that take up time and space. Parts that no longer have meaning for me or for Him. Those "That was then and this is NOW!" parts.
He is my life-line and my fortress and my strength. He
will direct my steps. He is my lens and I will focus on His
goals for me.
My unsettled heart will be settled as I give myself fully to the God I know and love and serve. And while I am still here, I will do His work.
Sometimes children show us the way in doing God's work-
don't miss this. It may change your day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bH8G93wLCs
Amen and Amen!
God Bless!
Love you to the moon and back!
Linda
'
Let me infuse My presence into your thoughts.
As your mind stops racing, your body relaxes,
and you regain awareness of Me. This awareness
is vital to your spiritual well-being; it is your
life-line.
- Jesus Calling for May 24th
I always thought that by the time I reached my sixties that all of life would fall into place, that I would have more answers than questions.
I always thought that wisdom would settle in like
sinking into an old, familiar couch, where you were immediately comfortable and at home.
I always thought.
I always thought that with aging came comfort, came peace,
came tranquility. Like the puzzle pieces coming together
effortlessly. Sliding in, fitting nicely, with a sigh of contentment.
I saw aging as well-earned rest and reward. A mind and heart at peace.
I always thought.
Instead, it seems, at sixty seven, that life has so many new learnings at every turn. That some of what once filled my heart and took my attention may not make much sense any longer.
Usually I am oh. so. comfortable in my own skin, but that just
isn't true these days. While some things still feel like constants,
and I am where I am supposed to be, more often than not I am re-thinking and re-examining who God wants me to be. I am nudged and pulled and twisted to look at life through a new lens.
His lens.
I am acutely aware that there are more days behind me than in front of me. I want every day to count, to mean something, to be tapped into His agenda for me, not my own. His open-
hearted living for me. His deep gratitude for me. His sense of
purpose for me.
I have always had a heart for social justice and hurt people,
His people, no matter where they are. No matter the color of their skin, no matter how much education they have or how rich or poor they are. They are all His children. All of them.
Every. single. one.
Sometimes it's easier to close my eyes. Pretend I don't see.
Or feel my plate is too full to make a difference. But He has my
eyes wide open these days.
What I know for sure is that when His children hurt,
He hurts.
What I also know for sure is that when they hurt,
I hurt too.
I can't stand to see people be hungry. It breaks my heart every time. That's why I bring food every day into my classroom...
oranges, always oranges, and cookies and muffins and apples.
If the bellies of my beloved students are full, so can their minds be full. That's why I carry apples in my car. I can't drive by someone on a corner, holding a sign-asking for help, without my heart breaking.
Some years back my precious Grandson, Jacob, taught me a huge life-lesson. A God-lesson. Jacob was starting to read and would sound out the words on the hand-held signs, held by the homeless and hurting on almost every corner.
His small voice in the back seat would say..."I am hungry and anything will help." And then he would look at me.
His Nana.
And he would whisper..."What are we going to do?"
And that's when the apples in the car began. Hand out an apple or a bag of apples, or a happy meal. Began. Keep food in the car to give away. Began.
And the children shall lead them.
I can't do much, I can't fix everything...but I can give them food.
That's why, at a recent food drive at the college where I teach, I kept filling up grocery cart after grocery cart at the store. I can't stand that many of my students and their precious babies are worrying about putting food on the table.
The lyrics to a song at Church keep pulsing
through my mind....
" Break my heart for what breaks Yours."
In truth, this time of life that I thought would be infused with
great comfort, instead has my skin itching, my mind racing and my heart breaking.
Yet I know He wants me to breathe and rest in Him. I know He wants me to infuse His presence into my thoughts. He wants to calm my racing mind and relax and trust in Him.
And I also know that He wants me to shed some parts of my life that take up time and space. Parts that no longer have meaning for me or for Him. Those "That was then and this is NOW!" parts.
He is my life-line and my fortress and my strength. He
will direct my steps. He is my lens and I will focus on His
goals for me.
My unsettled heart will be settled as I give myself fully to the God I know and love and serve. And while I am still here, I will do His work.
Sometimes children show us the way in doing God's work-
don't miss this. It may change your day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bH8G93wLCs
Amen and Amen!
God Bless!
Love you to the moon and back!
Linda
'
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Saturday's Saying...A Moment Together In Our Garden...
. . . . . . .
. . until . . .
. . further . .
. . . . notice . . .
. . celebrate . .
. . . every . . .
. . thing! .
. . .
I am so grateful to be alive. This week has
not been easy, but it is Saturday and I can
take a much needed moment to reflect on all that has gone on.
just breathe
just pray
just be grateful
Last night, before dinner, Bert and I sat in
our old, much-loved swing in the back yard,
lulled by the rocking motion.
back and forth
back and forth
it soothed my weary soul.
We watched the eagles way up high in the sky,
circling on their way to a more isolated destination.
We gazed at the stone path Bert had built
to two old, beat up chairs in our garden,
a masterpiece of simplicity.
a place to unwind for
two old friends
two old lovers.
We saw new growth on an old plant Bert just wouldn't give up on.
He's like that, you know.
He never gives up on struggling plants
He never gives up on struggling people.
We talked about good news
My friend Vicky Westra's brain scan..
stable
Never has the word "stable" meant so much to me.
We whispered prayers of Thanksgiving
we are still here to see His glory
His creation
His miracles.
We heard giggling next door
Children on their play set.
Music to our ears
Wistful memories of days gone by
Our own babes when they were young.
We held hands,
His dirty from hard work in the garden.
Mine tight from a challenging day.
just us
right there
in our garden.
Quietly celebrating everything that God created.
All of the small gifts that often go unnoticed.
my breathing calmed
my heart felt peaceful
at last...I was home.
This song captures what our time was like-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2VCwBzGdPM
Have a wonderful weekend!
God Bless!
Love, Linda
Friday, May 16, 2014
Sitting stunned...saying prayers...
Choose life! Only that and always!
At whatever risk. To let life leak out,
to let it wear away by the mere passage of time, to withhold giving
and spending it is to choose nothing.
-Sister Helen Kelly
Life is so precious. It is so short. Most of us only have 30,000 mornings during our lives.
I was able to make it home before the tears started to flow.
I was and am in disbelief. Two of my colleagues, one a very dear friend, had family members commit suicide yesterday. Another staff member who works in that area had a close loved one attempt suicide. Ending their life. Forever by choice, when there were other options.
These dear family members must have been in so much pain and unthinkable despair that they couldn't conceive of a way out. They couldn't imagine things getting better. Everyone who loves them is left with so much hurt, and pain and questions, and deep, deep grief, and anger. And guilt. Enormous guilt.
Suicide is a tragic, preventable cause of death. According the the Washington State Department of Health, suicide is the second leading cause of death for individuals
10-24 years of age and the 8th leading cause of death for all individuals in my state of Washington.
What is so scary to me, in looking at all of this and trying to learn something from these
recent deaths, is that this report suggests that 80% of the people who complete suicide have exhibited warning signs.
What are a few of these warning signs?
the person may:
*talk about hurting themselves, sometimes in vague terms.
*seek access to ways to do this like a firearm or pills
*have increased substance abuse
*feel they have no purpose for living
*experience deep anxiety and with that a loss of sleep
*have mood changes
*feel trapped and hopeless
*exhibit excessive rage and act reckless
Elder depression may bring a 50% higher risk for suicide than in young people.
Both of the relatives who committed suicide yesterday were older family members.
It seems so important, especially since I teach college courses in communication, to know what these warning signs really are. We often miss these signs for several reasons. We aren't educated in this area of human behavior so we aren't listening for these cues. Also, we may be so uncomfortable with a topic like this so we don't ask a very direct question when we are concerned. The question is this: Are you thinking about hurting yourself?
Yet even if we do know these warning signs, we cannot control the choices that another person makes.
Also, according to this study, at times there may also not be "warning signs." At least with 20% of the cases, there was no way to tell. It seems to me that it's important to give ourselves grace in all of these situations and not heap guilt on ourselves that we somehow should have "known."
My own family suffered a loss from suicide. My Mom's father, very early in her life, took his own life after a serious car accident left him depressed and hurting. I never knew my Grandfather, but I knew the lasting scars his suicide left on my Mom. Those were the days when suicide was wrapped in shame and secrecy. Those were the days when you had a "stiff upper lip" and were not supposed to complain or whine...about anything. Those were the days when even talking about breast cancer or addiction was a complete taboo, let alone a topic as off limits as suicide.
My sweet mom didn't talk about hard topics anyway, and I never knew how her Dad died until after my own father passed away from heart disease. My Mom, at a friend's request, went to a Hospice Grief Group. There she made a timeline of the greatest hurts in her life, including her Dad's death, and she started to talk about some of these "hard topics" for the very first time. She learned more about suicide from the group leader and group members. She learned it wasn't her fault and that eased some of the grief and guilt she had carried for 60 years.
My husband, Bert, is a counselor who works with individuals, marriages and families.
He is an amazing listener and a skilled psychotherapist and when I talked about yesterday's events with him, he wasn't shocked. In his work with hurting people for over thirty years, he is often a resource for helping others to find hope when everything seems so hopeless.
He is a respite in the storm for those who might consider taking their own life. He observes strict confidentiality and never talks to me about a patient, but I can often see when he comes home the weight and responsibility he feels in helping people choose life. He can also refer someone to a medical doctor, when medication might be the answer to depression. He is one of countless helpers out there who can be a beacon of hope for the hurting.
When we suspect that something is seriously wrong with someone we care for, and we feel like their issues are too grave and serious for our own skill sets, we can also find a skilled counselor or doctor to be a resource for our hurting loved one.
There is help out there. Things that seem so dark can get better. Yet we have to increase our knowledge on this very hard topic of conversation and at times go outside our comfort zone to have some tough conversations. Taking the risk to ask will be worth it. Having eyes and ears wide open, to pick up warning signs, will be worth it. Helping someone to choose life, is always worth it.
Please, when you are saying your prayers, include my two friends. Their hearts are broken.
God Bless!
Love Linda
At whatever risk. To let life leak out,
to let it wear away by the mere passage of time, to withhold giving
and spending it is to choose nothing.
-Sister Helen Kelly
Life is so precious. It is so short. Most of us only have 30,000 mornings during our lives.
I was able to make it home before the tears started to flow.
I was and am in disbelief. Two of my colleagues, one a very dear friend, had family members commit suicide yesterday. Another staff member who works in that area had a close loved one attempt suicide. Ending their life. Forever by choice, when there were other options.
These dear family members must have been in so much pain and unthinkable despair that they couldn't conceive of a way out. They couldn't imagine things getting better. Everyone who loves them is left with so much hurt, and pain and questions, and deep, deep grief, and anger. And guilt. Enormous guilt.
Suicide is a tragic, preventable cause of death. According the the Washington State Department of Health, suicide is the second leading cause of death for individuals
10-24 years of age and the 8th leading cause of death for all individuals in my state of Washington.
What is so scary to me, in looking at all of this and trying to learn something from these
recent deaths, is that this report suggests that 80% of the people who complete suicide have exhibited warning signs.
What are a few of these warning signs?
the person may:
*talk about hurting themselves, sometimes in vague terms.
*seek access to ways to do this like a firearm or pills
*have increased substance abuse
*feel they have no purpose for living
*experience deep anxiety and with that a loss of sleep
*have mood changes
*feel trapped and hopeless
*exhibit excessive rage and act reckless
Elder depression may bring a 50% higher risk for suicide than in young people.
Both of the relatives who committed suicide yesterday were older family members.
It seems so important, especially since I teach college courses in communication, to know what these warning signs really are. We often miss these signs for several reasons. We aren't educated in this area of human behavior so we aren't listening for these cues. Also, we may be so uncomfortable with a topic like this so we don't ask a very direct question when we are concerned. The question is this: Are you thinking about hurting yourself?
Yet even if we do know these warning signs, we cannot control the choices that another person makes.
Also, according to this study, at times there may also not be "warning signs." At least with 20% of the cases, there was no way to tell. It seems to me that it's important to give ourselves grace in all of these situations and not heap guilt on ourselves that we somehow should have "known."
My own family suffered a loss from suicide. My Mom's father, very early in her life, took his own life after a serious car accident left him depressed and hurting. I never knew my Grandfather, but I knew the lasting scars his suicide left on my Mom. Those were the days when suicide was wrapped in shame and secrecy. Those were the days when you had a "stiff upper lip" and were not supposed to complain or whine...about anything. Those were the days when even talking about breast cancer or addiction was a complete taboo, let alone a topic as off limits as suicide.
My sweet mom didn't talk about hard topics anyway, and I never knew how her Dad died until after my own father passed away from heart disease. My Mom, at a friend's request, went to a Hospice Grief Group. There she made a timeline of the greatest hurts in her life, including her Dad's death, and she started to talk about some of these "hard topics" for the very first time. She learned more about suicide from the group leader and group members. She learned it wasn't her fault and that eased some of the grief and guilt she had carried for 60 years.
My husband, Bert, is a counselor who works with individuals, marriages and families.
He is an amazing listener and a skilled psychotherapist and when I talked about yesterday's events with him, he wasn't shocked. In his work with hurting people for over thirty years, he is often a resource for helping others to find hope when everything seems so hopeless.
He is a respite in the storm for those who might consider taking their own life. He observes strict confidentiality and never talks to me about a patient, but I can often see when he comes home the weight and responsibility he feels in helping people choose life. He can also refer someone to a medical doctor, when medication might be the answer to depression. He is one of countless helpers out there who can be a beacon of hope for the hurting.
When we suspect that something is seriously wrong with someone we care for, and we feel like their issues are too grave and serious for our own skill sets, we can also find a skilled counselor or doctor to be a resource for our hurting loved one.
There is help out there. Things that seem so dark can get better. Yet we have to increase our knowledge on this very hard topic of conversation and at times go outside our comfort zone to have some tough conversations. Taking the risk to ask will be worth it. Having eyes and ears wide open, to pick up warning signs, will be worth it. Helping someone to choose life, is always worth it.
Please, when you are saying your prayers, include my two friends. Their hearts are broken.
God Bless!
Love Linda
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